In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world, there is a significant number of commodities made from animals like cuisine , medicines and garments ,though, nowadays a plethora of alternatives are available in the market. I partially agree with
this
statement as a sufficient amount of nutrients can not be gained from plants ,whereas, it is a brutal act to kill pet for fashion. On the one hand, food is an elementary need of human being that provide vital nutrients to
body
Add an article
the body

The noun phrase body seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for better immunity. Meat consists of all important vitamins, protein and fat
that is
the requirement of the body for growth as vegetarian does not fulfil the need as much requirement of the body .
For example
, 75% of persons who do regular gym, workout and physical activity depend upon the chicken as protein is the main source for building and growth of muscles so it is hardly found in substitute materials for meat
such
as green vegetables.
On the other hand
, killing and experiment on animals is a brutal act ,
therefore
, it must be banned. People who are tycoon love to wear the skin of beast just to look glamour and fashionable
that is
the sign of cruelty. Apart from that, after so much advancement in technology, scientist still performs an experiment on the beast .
Instead
of experiment on
this
creature , they can replace them with computer programs that could provide significant results and
this
is
also
a foremost way to stop
this
.
Moreover
, several endangered species have been killed every year to make high-priced drugs and extravagant interior just for decoration
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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elephant ivory . To illustrates, snake's poison is used in medical fields . To conclude,
although
creature
provide
Change the verb form
provides

The plural verb provide does not appear to agree with the singular subject creature. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a number of food for a living still there are alternates that can be used
instead
of experimentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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