In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines

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In the contemporary world, there is a significant number of commodities made from animals like cuisine , medicines and garments ,though, nowadays a plethora of alternatives are available in the market. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as a sufficient amount of nutrients can not be gained from plants ,

whereas

Linking Words

, it is a brutal act to kill

pet

Correct article usage

a pet

show examples

for fashion. On the one hand, food is an elementary need of human being that provide vital nutrients to

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

for better immunity. Meat consists of all important vitamins, protein and fat

that

Linking Words

Verb problem

meet

show examples

the

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

of the body for growth

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

vegetarian

Replace the word

vegetarianism

show examples

does not fulfil the need as much requirement of the body .

For example

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, 75% of persons who do regular gym, workout and physical activity depend upon the chicken as protein is the main source for building and growth of muscles so it is hardly found in substitute materials for meat

such

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as green vegetables.

On the other hand

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, killing and

experiment

Wrong verb form

experimenting

show examples

on animals is a brutal act ,

therefore

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, it must be banned. People who are

tycoon

Fix the agreement mistake

tycoons

show examples

love to wear the skin of

beast

Correct article usage

the beast

show examples

just to look

glamour

Replace the word

glamorous

show examples

and fashionable

that is

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sign of cruelty. Apart from that, after so much advancement in technology, scientist still performs an experiment on the beast .

Instead

Linking Words

experiment

Wrong verb form

experimenting

show examples

Linking Words

this creature

Fix the agreement mistake

these creatures

show examples

, they can replace them with computer programs that could provide significant results and

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

a foremost way to stop

this

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Moreover

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, several endangered species have been killed every year to make high-priced drugs and extravagant

interior

Fix the agreement mistake

interiors

show examples

just for decoration

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

elephant ivory . To

illustrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrate

show examples

snake's

Change noun form

snake

show examples

poison is used in medical fields .

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

creature

Fix the agreement mistake

creatures

show examples

provide a number of food for a living still there are

alternates

Replace the word

alternatives

show examples

that can be used

instead

Linking Words

of experimentation.

Submitted by arpitsandhu001 on Mon May 03 2021

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task response

The essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks depth and clarity in presenting the arguments. The ideas need to be better developed to fully respond to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The essay has some coherence and cohesion, but the logical structure is weak. There is a lack of clear progression between ideas and the examples provided are not well supported.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people are now working from home every day instead of travelling to the office What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this for workers and employers? Discuss your ideas and support them with reasons and examples

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for many reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and conclude.

Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?