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Band 4.5

Some think that young people should be free to follow their passion, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future career. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #people #passion #future #career
Everyone desire to choose
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 appropriate
job
 for their future living standard. While some
people
 think idealistically which encourages them to follow their passion, others consider that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
realistic
Add an article
the realistic
show examples
 way is a more efficient one. To be honest, according to me, it will be better if I work in
desirable
Correct article usage
a desirable
show examples
 profession. Thinking realistically sounds more reliable and
people
 can ensure about their future career.
This
 type of thinkers walk on the most rational track, they prefer to master professions that will be in demand in the near future.
People
 can enjoy the reputation and high living standards as contributions of the
job
 yet, as times goes by, they will be able to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depressive person because of reluctance. I mean, if the
job
 does not satisfy them morally, they will regret choosing it.
Although
 the previous ideology has some positives, I think it would be more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 to do what we love. If
people
 decide in an idealistic way, they will be satisfied with their dream jobs for some reason.
People
 can enjoy the work environment and perform productively if they really dream about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 particular
job
. It does not matter how
profession
Add an article
the profession
show examples
 is hard or stressful, if it is done willingly,
this
 will give great satisfaction to
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 after completing the tasks. It
also
 may affect their mood positively.
For example
, if someone follows his dream
job
, maybe he will not have bothered often and will not get depressed. Clearly, moral matters are essential to a person's success. It will be possible for
people
 to be professional in
this
 field if they can do their work effectively and passionately. In brief, it is
also
 understandable that, as some are not risk-takers, they prefer warranty jobs to make their life better but
people
 who give priority to the emotional sides of professions, they will get pleasure from their performance and will be highly motivated.
Submitted by banucicekqurbanova on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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