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Band 6

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #people #address #situation
IT HAS BEEN OBSERVED THAT YOUNG INDIVIDUALS, PARTICULARLY THOSE WHO ARE LIVING IN RICHER
COUNTRIES
, ENJOYS LONGER LIFE EXPECTANCY, LESSER MORBIDITY RATE, FANCIER LIVING CONDITION AND YET SUFFERS SADNESS. IN
THIS
 ESSAY I WILL DISCUSS THE REASONS BEHIND
THIS
 TREND AND SUGGEST SOME FEASIBLE MEASURES TO COUNTERACT THE SITUATION.
TO BEGIN
 WITH, THE MAIN SOURCE OF UNHAPPINESS FELT BY YOUNGER
PEOPLE
 DESPITE THEIR QUALITY LIVING IS, PERHAPS, THE ABSENCE OF THEIR THEIR PARENTS WHO ARE SACRIFICING FAMILY TIME OVER HARD WORK SO THEY COULD OFFER THE BEST LIVING CONDITION FOR THEIR CHILDREN.
THIS
 CASE IS TRUE IN NEARLY ALL DEVELOPED
COUNTRIES
, ACCORDING TO A RECENT REPORT FROM THE BBC NEWS.
MOREOVER
, THE ONSET OF SOCIAL
MEDIA
 HAS MADE
PEOPLE
 FEEL INFERIOR AND INSECURE WHENEVER THEY WOULD SEE A
POST
 OF SOMEONE DEPICTING A MORE POSH OR LUXURIOUS LIVING.
THIS
POST
-TO -IMPRESS WORLD OF SOCIAL
MEDIA
 IS MAKING RICH KIDS INSECURE OF THEMSELVES AND OVER-LOOKED THE BOONS THAT YOUNG
PEOPLE
 IN POOR
COUNTRIES
 ARE DEPRIVED OF. TO REVERSE
THIS
 ISSUE, THE AUTHORITIES OF THESE
COUNTRIES
 SHOULD MAKE PARENTS AWARE OF THEIR PRIME OBLIGATION- THEIR CHILDREN OVER MONEY SO THAT THEY COULD BEST GUIDE THEIR CHILDREN AND REFRAIN THEM FROM FEELING EMOTIONALLY "EMPTY" DESPITE HAVING A QUALITY LIFE.
FURTHERMORE
, SOCIAL
MEDIA
POST
 SHOULD BE FILTERED SINCE MOST OF THE PHOTOS ON CIRCULATION UN DIGITAL NETWORKING SITES ARE EITHER FABRICATED, EDITED OR JUST WELL-ANGLED TO CAPTURE MORE ENVY-WORTH MOMENTS.
IN OTHER WORDS
, VLOGGERS OR BLOGGERS POSTING MISLEADING PHOTO OR ANY SORTS OF DECEIVING
POST
 HAD TO BE TRACKED AND TAKEN DOWN. IN
THIS
 WAY, YOUNG
PEOPLE
 WILL ONLY HAVE THE ACCESS TO WHAT IS TRUE AND WOULD NOT BE TRICKED BY
POST
 EVOKING INSECURITY. TO RECAPITULATE, DESPITE GOOD HEALTH, LONG-LIFE AND FINANCIAL ACCESS, RICH YOUNG INDIVIDUALS FEEL SAD BECAUSE DESPITE HAVING THEM, THEY LACK EMOTIONAL SUPPORT AND ARE SURROUNDED BY TRICKY SOCIAL
MEDIA
POST
 THAT MAKES THEM FEEL DEPRIVED. TO SOLVE
THIS
 ISSUE, PARENTS HAS TO REALIZE THAT PROVIDING A QUALITY LIVING IS INCLUSIVE OF THEIR PRESENCE. WHAT IS MORE, AUTHORITY HAS TO CONTROL
MEDIA
 CONTENTS TO MAKE THESE PREVILEDGE YOUNG ONES REALIZE HOW FORTUNATE THEY ARE THAN OTHERS.
Submitted by titanesh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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