IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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HOW MUCH
MONEY
Use synonyms
 A
PERSON
Use synonyms
 SHOULD HAVE OFTEN RAISES A DEBATABLE ISSUE. WHILE FOR SOME IT IS ESSENTIAL TO HAVE MORE; OTHERS OPINE THAT AN AMOUNT ENOUGH TO LIVE A COMFORTABLE LIFE IS IDEAL. IN
THIS
Linking Words
 ESSAY, I WILL DISCUSS BOTH PERSPECTIVES GIVEN AND EXPLAIN SUPPORT FOR THE LATTER VIEW. THERE ARE SALIENT REASONS WHY AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF PECUNIARY RESOURCES IS CONSIDERED IMPORTANT.
FIRSTLY
Linking Words
, ITS PURCHASING POWER LARGELY DEPENDS ON
MONEY
Use synonyms
 VALUE. WHICH MEANS, THE MORE
MONEY
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 A
PERSON
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 HAS, THE MORE GOODS AND SERVICES A
PERSON
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 CAN AVAIL.
FOR INSTANCE
Linking Words
, IT IS COMMON TO SEE WEALTHY CELEBRITIES HOLIDAYING LUXURIOUSLY
ON
Change preposition
IN
show examples
RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE PLACES.
BY CONTRAST
Linking Words
, ECONOMICALLY DESTITUTE INDIVIDUALS CAN EVEN HARDLY BUY BASIC NECESSITIES FOR THEMSELVES.
ON THE OTHER HAND
Linking Words
, I AM
ONE
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 AMONG THOSE WHO BELIEVE AN AMOUNT ENOUGH TO LIVE A COZY LIVING IS SUFFICIENT. AFTER ALL,
MONEY
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 MAKING OFTEN COMES WITH A SACRIFICE.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, A
PERSON
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 MAY WORK FOR RIDICULOUSLY LONG HOURS IN ORDER TO EARN MORE SALARY.
THIS
Linking Words
 MAY BADLY AFFECT
ONE
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'S HEALTH FROM PROLONGED STRESS EXPOSURE AT WORK OR MAY SACRIFICE QUALITY FAMILY TIME FOR INCOME GENERATING ACTIVITIES. WHAT IS THE TRUE VALUE OF FINANCIAL RESOURCES
THEN
Linking Words
, IF
ONE
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 IS DEBILITATED BY ILLNESS NOR HAVE A DISRUPTIVE FAMILY RELATION?.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
, A
PERSON
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'S MORAL PERSPECTIVE IS OFTEN AFFECTED ACCORDING TO
ONE
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'S WEALTH. WEALTHY PEOPLE TENDS TO BECOME MORE GREEDY, WHEREAS THEIR COUNTERPART TENDS TO REMAIN HUMBLE AND GOAL-ORIENTED TO SAVE
MONEY
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. TO RECAPITULATE, WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT
MONEY
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 CAN PROVIDE A
PERSON
Use synonyms
 WITH UNLIMITED MATERIAL NEEDS, IT COMES WITH SACRIFICES LIKE HEALTH AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIP.
THUS
Linking Words
, IT IS WAY MUCH BETTER TO HAVE ENOUGH BUT ENJOYS A COZY LIVING WITHOUT HAVING HUGE SACRIFICES.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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