Some people believe that it is very important to make a large amount of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

HOW MUCH
MONEY
A
PERSON
SHOULD HAVE OFTEN RAISES A DEBATABLE ISSUE. WHILE FOR SOME IT IS ESSENTIAL TO HAVE MORE; OTHERS OPINE THAT AN AMOUNT ENOUGH TO LIVE A COMFORTABLE LIFE IS IDEAL. IN
THIS
ESSAY, I WILL DISCUSS BOTH PERSPECTIVES GIVEN AND EXPLAIN SUPPORT FOR THE LATTER VIEW. THERE ARE SALIENT REASONS WHY AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF PECUNIARY RESOURCES IS CONSIDERED IMPORTANT.
FIRSTLY
, ITS PURCHASING POWER LARGELY DEPENDS ON
MONEY
VALUE. WHICH MEANS, THE MORE
MONEY
A
PERSON
HAS, THE MORE GOODS AND SERVICES A
PERSON
CAN AVAIL.
FOR INSTANCE
, IT IS COMMON TO SEE WEALTHY CELEBRITIES HOLIDAYING LUXURIOUSLY
ON
Change preposition
IN

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE PLACES.
BY CONTRAST
, ECONOMICALLY DESTITUTE INDIVIDUALS CAN EVEN HARDLY BUY BASIC NECESSITIES FOR THEMSELVES.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, I AM
ONE
AMONG THOSE WHO BELIEVE AN AMOUNT ENOUGH TO LIVE A COZY LIVING IS SUFFICIENT. AFTER ALL,
MONEY
MAKING OFTEN COMES WITH A SACRIFICE.
FOR EXAMPLE
, A
PERSON
MAY WORK FOR RIDICULOUSLY LONG HOURS IN ORDER TO EARN MORE SALARY.
THIS
MAY BADLY AFFECT
ONE
'S HEALTH FROM PROLONGED STRESS EXPOSURE AT WORK OR MAY SACRIFICE QUALITY FAMILY TIME FOR INCOME GENERATING ACTIVITIES. WHAT IS THE TRUE VALUE OF FINANCIAL RESOURCES
THEN
, IF
ONE
IS DEBILITATED BY ILLNESS NOR HAVE A DISRUPTIVE FAMILY RELATION?.
ADDITIONALLY
, A
PERSON
'S MORAL PERSPECTIVE IS OFTEN AFFECTED ACCORDING TO
ONE
'S WEALTH. WEALTHY PEOPLE TENDS TO BECOME MORE GREEDY, WHEREAS THEIR COUNTERPART TENDS TO REMAIN HUMBLE AND GOAL-ORIENTED TO SAVE
MONEY
. TO RECAPITULATE, WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT
MONEY
CAN PROVIDE A
PERSON
WITH UNLIMITED MATERIAL NEEDS, IT COMES WITH SACRIFICES LIKE HEALTH AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIP.
THUS
, IT IS WAY MUCH BETTER TO HAVE ENOUGH BUT ENJOYS A COZY LIVING WITHOUT HAVING HUGE SACRIFICES.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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