Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today opinions divide between the efficiency rate of individual online learning against that of
group
work in the offline classroom. It still believed that old proven methods of
group
work help should be far more efficient and prolific
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker since. Consider removing the comma.

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since
group
education boosts soft skills and allows
group
discussion. The essay will attempt to prove the thesis above and an individual view will be given in conclusion.
Firstly
, offline
group
learning lay the beneficial groundwork for a personality within a society. Studying in class helps an adolescent to find well-reasoned arguments and discuss issues, gaining much from opposing views and professor review.
Furthermore
,
such
groupwork
Correct your spelling
group work

The word groupwork doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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allows for a better understanding of concepts through peer-to-peer review. All in all, classroom learning drastically increase soft skills and make an invaluable contribution to personal growth.
Secondly
, live human interaction
increase
Change the verb form
increases

The plural verb increase does not appear to agree with the singular subject live human interaction. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the level of serotonin, widely known as
"happiness
Correct article usage
the "happiness

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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hormone".
Although
online education is considering time-saving,
for instance
in terms of travel time,
such
experts seriously underestimate biological needs in
live
Add an article
a live

The noun phrase live interaction seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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interaction.
For example
, a Stanford research
group
conclude from a number of researchers that offline talks and events mostly fulfil the human demand for communication, which results in a number of positive hormones occurred in
human
Add an article
the human

The noun phrase human body seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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body after . Generally speaking, shifting most learning events online could seriously result in human development.
Finally
, it can be concluded that
full
Correct article usage
a full

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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cycle of learning online could potentially threaten the future of their personality as well as under-supply
her
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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biological needs. It is a firm belief, that education should be impersonal, with revolver shots of online webinar sessions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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