Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumber. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The demand for technicians
as electricians or plumbers is increasing day by day.
Correct your spelling

The word Consequtively is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, increasing their hourly price, but that does not mean one should be motivated to pursue vocational training solely for
reason. The following essay describes my take on the given statement. A child spends a lot of time during high school
Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
exploring various domains
as arts, math, science etc., and after graduating high school contemplates on which path to choose, with an added pressuring of entrance examinations of the universities. It is a tedious as well as an expensive process to apply
Change preposition

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
various universities.
not only shows the passion of the child in that particular aspect
Remove the comma

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
depicts an important career step taken to pursue academic education within the chosen subject of major.
On the contrary
, vocational training is an important life skill that we should learn at a younger age in school as a life sustainability skill that should
include things like planning finances, filing taxes etc., to be independent later in life. Choosing to take up a profession purely for the current demand for it would lead to low job satisfaction in the long run, rather than pursuing their interest. In conclusion, demand for particular skill or jobs is temporary and will change
Change preposition
from time

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
to time, but it is crucial to follow our passion as a career for long term happiness.
, it is
important to learn new things and grow in your current choice of profession to keep up with the current market, irrespective of academic study or vocational training.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users