Some people believe that government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individual should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer
Many argue that the government should look after and give
money
assist for senior citizens when they are sixty years old. While others say their
should put Correct pronoun usage
they
money
into their fixed account when they are working early stage it will help for their olden days. I strongly agree with the former opinion because the eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
would not manage all expenses
with their own money
when they are after getting old so, the government should be aided.
On the one hand, the oldery
Correct your spelling
older
elderly
people
have been working when they were young while they were being contributed to the society
development Replace the word
social
such
as workforce. The ministry should turn thank to these kinds people
how will provide monetary subsidies for their Change preposition
of people
expenses
. Moreover
, nowadays all goods price are increased dramatically compare
to past days so, the pension Change the form of the verb
compared
people
are able to face trouble to fulfill
their needs and wants. Change the spelling
fulfil
For example
, according to the research said that all product price amount would be increased in the up coming
years. Correct your spelling
upcoming
Therefore
, the rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
patrty
should help Correct your spelling
party
to
the senior folks.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, above sixty years age person were
paid Change the verb form
was
tax
to the cabinet like income tax
, service tax
, and property tax
when they were working. They also
participate to
the country growth and the administration were being used these kinds of Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
money
too such
as infrastructure, hospitals, banks and so on. The ministry have
a responsibility to take care of their Change the verb form
has
a
old man Correct article usage
apply
therfore
, they can satisfy their medical Correct your spelling
therefore
expenses
, living expenses
. For instances, the Singapore government is provided every
month pension amount to their resident who Add the preposition
with every
are
getting above 60.
To conclude, the Change the verb form
is
rulling
party should focus Correct your spelling
ruling
to
their citizens how satisfying their needs and wants. Not only the youngsters but Change preposition
on
also
the grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
therefore
, they can live happily and healthily.Add the comma(s)
,therefore
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite