IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

#movement #people #villages #cities #work #places #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People who live in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 tend to seek job opportunities in the cities. With
this
Linking Words
 migration, it accompanies predicaments that can be crucial for the entire nation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the problems and solutions to analyze the situation. There are problems that will arise once more villagers decided to move into cities. One of these includes is having overpopulation. Because of
this
Linking Words
 result, it can create an unsustainable way of living due to pollution, traffic and crime. It is in fact known that people from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are not university graduates which in effect, rely on agricultural jobs. Another issue that needs to be addressed in
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it will result in an unbalanced distribution of the workforce. As I have mentioned earlier about agricultural jobs, villagers do not have enough knowledge and experience when it comes to urban
areas
Use synonyms
. Their expertise is not in demand and
as a result
Linking Words
 they will become poorer and poverty will increase due to the lack of job positions available for them.
This
Linking Words
 problem is critical for every country if the government will not step in and take action. Despite having these kinds of difficulties, there is still hope if leaders will see
this
Linking Words
 situation as an underlying condition as to why the economy is not growing.
First
Linking Words
 off, the government should create more high paying jobs in village
areas
Use synonyms
. By doing so, they will have more reasons to stay because of the quality of life and satisfaction it can give for their families and personal achievements. It can help them save more time and money while not having the need to migrate to another city due to enough resources for everyday living. Improving infrastructures is another solution to balance out the workforce distribution in rural
areas
Use synonyms
. Modernized hospitals, various transportations and upgrading internet connections are just one of the many improvements that the governments should be able to mandate in order to be successful in
this
Linking Words
 endeavour. It might take a long way before everything will be completed, but once
this
Linking Words
 happens, the outcome will be beneficial for the entire nation,
hence
Linking Words
, a better economy ahead for every nation. In conclusion, if these extreme measures can fully take effect for rural
areas
Use synonyms
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 can lead to a quality way of living without the need to migrate to cities.
Submitted by gurlytin_gal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: