IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

7. For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to end your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this give details of how you have benefited from the club explain why you want to leave

#year #member #club #membership #secretary #type #give
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Dear tom, I am writing
this
 letter regarding my
club
 subscription to your local
club
. I will cancel my subscription next week. I am a member of Sliver Shecme, which allows access to all premium facilities in the
club
.
Moreover
, I like
this
club
's payment method: cash, credit, or debit card. I usually pay with my credit card through autopay. Having membership in
this
club
 has brought a massive change in my life. I enjoyed the yoga and meditation sessions.
Moreover
,
this
 membership not only helped me get in shape but
also
 cooking classes assisted me in advancing my cooking skills.
Although
this
club
 has become part of my daily routine, I have to move to my hometown
due to
 personal issues.
This
 unforeseen situation led me to cancel
this
 service with your
club
. I am glad to be part of
such
 a
club
. Please understand my situation and cancel my membership. Yours faithfully, Parm
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, try linking your ideas more smoothly with transition words. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to connect your benefits gained from the club.
task achievement
Ensure you provide specific details when explaining why you want to leave. For instance, mentioning the exact nature of the personal issues could provide a clearer picture.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately formal and polite, providing a respectful tone to the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph effectively focuses on a single idea, making the letter clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
The letter thoroughly covers all aspects of the task, providing specific details about the membership type, payment method, benefits enjoyed, and reasons for leaving.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is professional and courteous, fitting the context of writing to a club secretary.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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