IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teamwork #companies #leader
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that a prosperous organization need to has a desirable boss, but many subscribe to the view that having communicative employees is a vital factor for achieving
this
Linking Words
 goal. From my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 both aspects are necessary but having a smart leader can be much more effective. On the one hand, every company is built based on one or a group of people ideas and without these initiative
individuals
Add a comma
,individuals
show examples
 the businesses could not be handled or grown. Having leadership skills and experience is another feasible point
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 would be crucial for a company to survive. Because each institution definitely faces
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own challenges and the runner should be able to cope with different situations by using his or her knowledge and experiences.
For instance
Linking Words
, the most reason for Space X and Tesla companies success is their owner, Ilan Mask, which has perfectly known how to deal with difficult conditions
such
Linking Words
 as failure or going bankrupt.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the leading factors for a stimulating working environment especially for nine-to-nine jobs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is having good teamwork, it is
also
Linking Words
 a worthwhile way for workforces to do not feel getting stuck behind the desk.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, workers who are good team players have promising social skills,
thus
Linking Words
 in some occupations which are reliant on people, these applicants can be beneficial for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 to climb the career ladder. In conclusion, for an organization, being at the peak of its career is the most important scope and
this
Linking Words
 is attainable if that firm possesses
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intelligent owner, as well as sociable employees who know exactly how to work in a team.
Submitted by z.noori347 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaboration
  • Synergy
  • Cohesion
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Delegation
  • Autonomy
  • Innovation
  • Morale
  • Strategic planning
  • Charisma
What to do next:
Look at other essays: