Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this

#people #job #years #school #university

It is felt that spending a few

years

work

from finishing school to starting

university

would be profitable . There are some merits and demerits in

this

idea that both of them will be argued in the following essay . The advantages of having a

job

before

education

in the

university

would be the fact that

firstly

, people will be able to choose the best and a reasonable major in the

university

which will have a positive influence on their successes in the

education

Secondly

, it

Change to the active voice

seems

has seemed

show examples

seemed

Correct your spelling

deemed

show examples

Replace the word

show examples

work

experience that will be

help

Replace the word

helpful

show examples

full to achieve a proper

job

after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

graduation.

Moreover

, when

children

look after a profession, they can find their abilities and skills in specialized fields .

For instance

, if a person talent or ability in electrical activities is discovered , he will decide to study electrical engineering as academic

education

and she/he has

work

experience for

years

and it is a desirable resume to reach a suitable

work

in the future.

Consequently

children

can have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to study in the perfect field in the universities and achieve better

job

positions in the future by working before beginning the academic

education

. Stopping academic

education

is the main drawback of having a

job

between school and

university

Furthermore

, if

children

earn money before going to

university

, they will be encouraged to do

work

instead

of professional

education

Also

, they will

Replace the word

lose

show examples

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

some

job

positions in the future . Because many employers need workforce by good qualification and academic degree .

For example

,if people are not teaching graduate, they will not be employed as a teacher . In conclusion .As the positive points . If people do

work

between school and academic

education

for few

years

, they will have reached a suitable

job

by the

years

Additionally

, they can read the better major.

In contrast

, missing the desirable profession and omit

children

motivation to continue their educations can be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

demerits .

Submitted by z.noori347 on Fri May 07 2021

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer.

Research has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use Of use of energy (for example electricity, gas). Thus some companies Cole for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?