IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
Since ancient times, humans have had an impact on nature. Recently,
such
 intervenes in the environment are on the rise, and
this
 process can lead to horrible consequences, but what can the government and individuals do to prevent
this
? There are some harmful human activities
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be tackled by
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
.
For example
, factories that pour their waste into the rivers and the oceans,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
causes growth in the
level
 of pollution. Another example is
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the number of constructions
reduces
Correct pronoun usage
that reduces
show examples
 the fertile land areas. Governments can suppress these issues with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several policies. Taxes and restrictions can be implemented on pollution,
moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can encourage entrepreneurs by giving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial aid in order to decrease the
wasting
Replace the word
waste
show examples
level
 or it can apply some fines against littering.
Additionally
, improving the
level
 of education leads to a more developed society
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is aware of their negative effects on
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
nature. To go down the number of apartments, it can build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skyscrapers in order to protect fertile soil.
On the other hand
, people individually can prevent particular problems
such
 as
exhauste
Correct your spelling
exhaust
exhausted
exhaustion
 fumes produced by cars or littering the ground. Exhaust fumes result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor air quality, for reducing it, the number of cars should be cut down, but how? Habitants are able to use bicycles
instead
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars. Littering the ground results in griminess and so
Add an article
a
the
show examples
person can be thought from childhood about their effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the world.
For example
, parents can explain to their children why they should not pollute the ground. Taking everything into the account, there are
such
 harmful damages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind on the environment. Some of them should handle at the state
level
, but individuals'
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 are
also
 important
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because big revolutions start with small steps.
Submitted by banucicekqurbanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: