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Band 7

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#parents #pressure #children
It is experienced that
parents
 care FOR their
children
 s future and supervise them by far strictly in order to present them a successful life. It is considered to have both benefit and drawbacks. In my view, the benefits of parent s supervision outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are disadvantages of
children
 control.
Firstly
, it can lead TO a lack of communication between them.
Secondly
, BEING under pressure will MAKE
children
 exhausted. To illustrate
children
 who feel discomfort tend to be involved by some unknown groups.
Consequently
, the hard rules cause detrimental effects for
children
, as well as for the community.
Lastly
, being controlled strictly by someone results in a lack of self-esteem.
Moreover
, they will suffer to express themselves in society If,
parents
 are aware of the wrong approach to their
children
, they will experience non-effective results.
On the other hand
, I would argue with the benefits of
parents
 control of their
children
. Due to the fact that
children
 will feel confident if their
parents
 can be friendly with them.
As a result
 , they will rely on their
parents
.
Parents
 can pass their social skills and give advice. As a matter of fact , they will get over their problems with their
parents
.
For example
, a teenager who faces with
Correct article usage
a
show examples
hard situation expects help from
parents
. It will end up with their friendship.
Parents
 can isolate their
children
 from peers with negative family impacts.
Hence
, it keeps their
children
 to be in safe.
In addition
 to it,they can control them and witness their successes in future life. To conclude, it seems to me that regulation on
children
 has some negative effects ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 there are positive than their drawbacks.
Submitted by mahiyakarim85 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • extracurricular activities
  • prosperous future
  • societal standards
  • peer competition
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • unfulfilled ambitions
  • resource availability
  • opportunity exploitation
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