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Band 6

Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things rather than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts #music
Many may say that the money spent by governments should be on essential things
such
 as healthcare,education ,construction than entertainment stuff like art,opera,theatre.I completely disagree with that argument.
People
 not only need an important thing and
also
 required socialization which related to their physiological and mental health. There are several reasons why craft is a crucial factor in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human being.Without ,entertainment
people
 will not recharge their mind which is so important for psychological health and the time that entertain
people
.
For instance
, those who have cancer
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 chemical treatment and
also
 have to release their mind by a focus on
arts
such
 as listen to music or paint a portrait.
Therefore
,
besides
 healthcare, the education we
also
 need
arts
.
Furthermore
,music and painting have existed for many years in the world.
People
 required to drink and feed themselves to be alive and
also
arts
such
 as music and painting is a portion of food for mental.
In other words
,
arts
 feed our mind to
continue
Add the particle
tocontinue
show examples
 think in advance to be strong.
For example
,some evidence support that being in
arts
 can boost our emotion in a good way.The
last
 but not least,education can lead to communication with
people
 for socialization,
arts
also
 bring
people
 together to make them social. In conclusion,it has been a controversial issue that spending money by the government on what it would be crucial whether on just some essential things or
also
 on
arts
.I completely agree that the money which spent by the government should spend in equal portion on every part of life.
Submitted by cmnr3134 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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