IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Museum
Add an article
The museum
show examples
 is a historical and educational place visited by people of all ages, some of which are opened to the public free of charge while some ask visitors to pay
entry
Add an article
the entry
an entry
show examples
 fee. I agree that charging
museum
 visitors have more merits than demerits. On the one hand, the requirement to buy tickets for
museum
 visits leads to some disadvantages.
Firstly
,
this
 policy may discourage students and low-income families from visiting those historical places since they have more choices without admission,
such
 as watching documentary films, to learn about history.
This
 will limit the access to the exhibitions of artefacts and historical works, and
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 reduce the interest in their country’s history.
Secondly
,
museums
 are mostly run by state funds for educational purpose, so charging fee seems to make it commercial and
therefore
 lose the original purpose of its construction.
On the other hand
, I think that there are more advantages when
entry
Add an article
the entry
show examples
 fee is charged. The initial reason is to boost service quality in
museums
 because we have funds to upgrade facilities, redecorate or employ security guards.
Also
,
museums
 will welcome only visitors who want to learn more about history, because those wanting to find a recreational place will opt for parks, shopping malls or supermarkets which are free rather than
museums
. The final benefit is to ease the burden
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 budget. If
museum
 tickets are not applied, there should be
also
 no charge for a range of other public facilities
such
 as temples, zoos and stadiums, which seems to be impractical. In conclusion, despite some negative effects of applying entrance tickets to
museums
, I believe that they are overshadowed by more positive impacts. (275 words) Xem phân tích, dịch bài, từ vựng
Submitted by lemylinhthanh0108 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: