It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30 as this is best both for individual and society. do you agree or disagree?
Marriage is society. It is considered appropriate from both personal and social
the
life-long contract not only between two individuals but Correct article usage
a
also
Change preposition
between
perspective
to get engaged before the age of 30. I completely disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
this
notion. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will put forth my views in detail.
To begin
with, the
wedding before 30 Correct article usage
a
years
would bring about an immature relationship. To elaborate, in this
modern era, most of the families are nuclear in nature. Therefore
, the parents would overcare their children. Thus
their character would remain childish even if they acquire higher education. In such
a scenario, a marriage relation
would Replace the word
relationship
ruin
if Wrong verb form
be ruined
such
immature individuals get engaged without adequate life experience. For example
, according to
the reports from the family court in the
Alapuzha, the divorce rate is Correct article usage
apply
on
rising among the couples who became united before 30 Change preposition
apply
years
. They found
to be separated Add a missing verb
were found
due to
mere personal issues.
Moreover
, besides
the above individual impacts, such
weddings have a lot of influence on society. To elaborate, nowadays, due to
the
population expansion, even though, Correct article usage
apply
the
youngsters Correct article usage
apply
are having
good educational qualifications,they might not obtain a decent job before Wrong verb form
have
30
Correct pronoun usage
they 30
years
.
At the same time, when they have to undertake extra responsibility for their family and children would certainly question their financial stability. Correct word choice
old.
Consequently
, that would has
Change the verb form
have
long term
detrimental effects on society, in terms of enhanced theft and other crimes. Add a hyphen
long-term
For instance
, according to
the
survey conducted by the Hindu newspaper, 70% of early wedded couples suffer from massive debts and the eventual downward growth of the nation.
Correct article usage
a
To conclude
, in my opinion, marriage before 30 years
would be deleterious for individuals, as well as
the community. It is due to
the reason that,
Remove the comma
apply
such
unions could only produce immature relationships and personal burden
.Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
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task achievement
Provide clearer reasons to support your disagreement.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.
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