Young people do not spend their holiday and weekend doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment. Why? And how to encourage them to go out?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, youngsters are reluctant to allocate their spare time to exercising in open fields. Behind
such
reluctance are two predominant motivators, and hopefully some feasible approaches can be adopted. There are two reasons for
this
phenomenon. First of all, young folk have no energy to take part in outdoor activities. Compared with the past, today's young family may work longer hours and commute longer every day, leading to the accumulation of fatigue. At the same time,
due to
the prevalence of a sedentary lifestyle among the young generation, young people will find mountain climbing and hiking very physical, and their willingness to go out will
also
be reduced.
In addition
, the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the way of entertainment in the new era
also
leads to
this
phenomenon. Compared with the time-consuming and laborious physical interaction, today's young people are more inclined to enjoy their own electronic products indoors,
such
as mobile phones, tablet computers, televisions, etc. These products allow them to relax quickly and at a lower cost. So outdoor sports are not popular. Of course, we have many ways to encourage young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
to go out. First of all, the government and non-governmental organizations can organize more outdoor activities,
such
as marathons, rock climbing, mountaineering, and so on, and set high bonuses, so that some
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can be interested.
In addition
, some star athletes can use their influence to encourage people to adopt a healthier lifestyle.
For example
, small fresh meat can take their outdoor sports photos on their microblog, and encourage their fans and the public to participate in outdoor sports. In a nutshell, since possible factors and workable remedies have been clarified,
this
thorny issue can be promisingly addressed through joint efforts from several parties.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic adequately by discussing the reasons why young people are reluctant to engage in outdoor activities and suggesting ways to encourage them.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are presented effectively. The essay is logically structured with clear main points and supporting ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: