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Band 5

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #lives
In
this
 concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that the Internet has completely revolutionalised the world. Some
people
 concur that spending
time
 on the Internet has caused
people
 to divert from their personal lives.
However
, others quibble from them. According to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
, I completely agree with the former statement and in
this
 essay, I will prove my point. One of the impelling reasons for a majority of
people
 living a lonely life is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media. To explain
further
,
people
 spend their entire
time
to enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
 their social image rather than dwelling with their near and dear ones.
This
 has resulted in
deprecation
Correct article usage
the deprecation
show examples
 of relationships. To upload my notion, I would quote an instance of my fellow colleague, who was obsessed with Instagram and Facebook. She used to be day-in and day-out on her phone,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 resulted in her divorce and she got emotionally low. Another rearmost coherent factor that cannot be neglected is juveniles spending too much
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing online games. Teenagers have been vastly affected by spending
time
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic devices rather than spending
time
 with their families.
This
 has eventually resulted in creating a gap between the parents and their scions. The children are unable to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 crucial life lessons and they are not able to incorporate their parent's experiences into their own life. In conclusion, the internet has played
life-saving
Add an article
the life-saving
a life-saving
show examples
 role for many
people
 but making
people
 deserted is irrefutably problematic.
Furthermore
, the adolescents don't get enough
time
 with their parents,
hence
 it might create a void
withing
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 younger generations that becomes difficult to fill.
Submitted by atifcric08 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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