IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

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In recent times the number of
people
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 who live in
cities
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 has increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
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 stay in
cities
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 to reduce the traffic and transportation, or whether they go to the countryside.
This
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 essay will outline the benefits and effects of living in
cities
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.
To begin
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, living in
cities
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 may offer better life services.
People
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 can find various markets and shops that provide their needs.
For example
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, the result of conducting research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of individuals enjoy living in
cities
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due to
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 the different recreational activities. So, it promotes a sense of satisfaction.
Moreover
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, in town, there are higher numbers in hospitals and schools compared to rural areas. It means
people
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 are able to get better treatment and education.
For instance
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, my friend lives in a village called Falj Alsederyeen which has only one school.
As a result
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, students can face difficulties because of large numbers of students.
In addition
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, the benefits of
cities
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 are not limited only to individuals but
also
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 extended to society.
People
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 have a chance to get work more than
people
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 who live in the countryside. A good example here is that
people
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 can work in restaurants , manufacturers or any companies which cannot be found in the countryside.
This
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 may generate the growth of the economy.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 live in
cities
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, they will help them to the improvement of many mental health issues
such
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 as reducing stress and depression. Individuals have a lot of amenities to keep them relaxed and entertained. In conclusion,
cities
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 have a significant impact on
people
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's lives. I totally agree that there are many positive effects of living in
cities
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. Improving their living, offering various facilities , promoting health benefits and developing the economy are the main advantages.
Therefore
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, the idea of moving to rural areas should be stopped.
People
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 should be encouraged to live in
cities
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are more consistently balanced. While explaining the benefits of city living, acknowledge potential drawbacks to provide a more comprehensive view.
task achievement
Clarify the logical connection between city living and traffic reduction, as the argument is not directly addressed.
coherence cohesion
Use more connective phrases between paragraphs for smoother transitions and to enhance flow.
task achievement
Strong task achievement with a clear understanding of the benefits of city living backed with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure maintaining consistency and organization of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Inclusion of specific examples like Glasgow University and Falj Alsederyeen adds credibility to the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • commuting time
  • associated pollution
  • viable
  • efficient public transport systems
  • reliance on private vehicles
  • sustainable urban planning
  • pedestrian-friendly
  • overcrowding
  • urban sprawl
  • housing prices
  • strain on public services
  • innovative
  • high-density
  • amenities
  • proximity
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