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Band 5

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home
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Leaving
children
 out of a family can be
painful
Add an article
a painful
show examples
 experience for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families.
However
, there are some people who think that it should be essential, others consider the youngsters should reside with parents. In my opinion, the young adults require to leave their home and build their own
life
 because which make them independent and responsible. On one hand, supporters consider, when the future adults move away from their parental house brings many benefits.
Firstly
, they start to learn how to live independently and take
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
the necessary
show examples
 decision on
life
 by self.
This
, eventually, cultivates self-esteem , autonomy and decision making power, these are essential skills required to be successful in the future.
For example
, it has been noted that, especially,in western countries, parents really encourage their
children
 to live separately after they become legally adult for good and it is fruitful in many aspects
life
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of life
show examples
.
Therefore
, I believe residing alone is
excellent
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an excellent
show examples
 idea.
On the other hand
, the opponents argue that, if the
children
 reside out of the family can have many repercussions.
This
 is because when the
naives
Correct your spelling
natives
 handle too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 responsibilities and household works can change their focus and cause severe stress and tension. Eventually, they may be misguided by outsiders that can spoil and damage their both personal and professional
life
.
Nevertheless
,
this
 scenario rarely happens as most of the
children
 are educated
how
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on how
show examples
 to become independent from their early years by either family or school. In conclusion, people have a different opinion on whether the young adult should leave or stay with their family after
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain age. I, personally, think that it is better to allow them to reside separately as
this
 brings many
adavantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
in
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to
show examples
 their
life
 than any problems.
Submitted by Sal on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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