IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #sport #support
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Participating
adventureous
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in adventureous
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 games is a personal choice, according to some, while others consider that these kinds of sports ought to be prohibited. I, personally, believe that ultimately
partcipants
Correct your spelling
participants
 have the right to decide their preference and the government can install
safety
Use synonyms
 measures.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall support my views in
following
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the following
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
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, in a demographic world, freedom of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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choice is a fundamental right, nobody can stop others until they are
harm
Replace the word
harmful
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to people’s
life
Replace the word
lives
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and things.
Therefore
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, it has been noted that the sporting activists are made
to
Change preposition
apply
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aware
the
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of the
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 consequence and possible damages it may cause.
For example
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, in many western countries, dangerous activities
such
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 as scuba diving, or sky diving are permitted for all, after explaining the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of risks and accidents can involve in
this
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;
however
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, nobody stops them from doing as it is
individual
Add an article
an individual
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 decision.
Secondly
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, while actively involving
such
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 activities can have many benefits to the person and the economy. Regarding personal
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, he could enjoy his courage and even push the limit to the
next
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 level and understand that how capable he is.
Similarly
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, these kinds of sporting events attract millions of foreigners to fly over, eventually, the economy can be flourished and generated income.
For instance
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,
Newzeland
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
, the home for bungee jumping, has been conducting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dangerous activity successfully by maintaining
safety
Use synonyms
 rules and providing
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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 to both participants and the coaches.
Therefore
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, it is obvious that
such
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 entertainments should not be
deallowed
Correct your spelling
disallowed
. In conclusion, some view that extreme games to be
bnanned
Correct your spelling
banned
 due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
safety
Use synonyms
 concerns. I strongly consider it is a personal choice and by ensuring
safety
Use synonyms
 measures and training
this
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 can be as enjoyable as other events.
Submitted by Sal on

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