IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by the international fast food. This is having negative effect on our families and societies. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

More and more countries, these
days
Punctuation problem
days,
show examples
supplies
Correct subject-verb agreement
supply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-
Use the right word
fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional country
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, negative effect on the people and in the societies.In my opinion,I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
.Nowadays, children and youth are much increased in eating fast foods without caring about the
health
Use synonyms
 problems.I shall examine my view on
this
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs. On one side,people are attracted by most
colour full
Replace the word
colourful
show examples
 ingredients used on it, it mostly
effected in
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 smaller age groups.Those are available in the market
very
Punctuation problem
, very
show examples
 easy to buy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 get prepared
instead
Linking Words
.They forgot to eat home
food
Use synonyms
 prepared by their
mom's
Check wording
moms
show examples
 at home.
For example
Linking Words
, Pizza is the hottest seller in India
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it was imported
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 international countries.As per the survey
Add a comma
,
show examples
most people
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 eating it on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. On the other side, eating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-
Use the right word
fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 many side effects in their regular life.It may drop the energy levels in the body
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 blood flow changes will occur, a lot more
health
Use synonyms
 issues.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it does not contain a good amount of vitamins required for our body
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 the receipts are quite different.For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 current
market
Add a comma
market,
show examples
 so many instant products are available which
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 less time to prepare
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it may cause
health
Use synonyms
 difficulties in future
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it's not a good
and quality
Correct word order
quality and
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 taken
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the human body. In conclusion, humans are attracted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-
Use the right word
fast food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it
consumes
Verb problem
takes
show examples
 less time
period
Check wording
apply
show examples
to
prepared
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
 and
eats
Correct subject-verb agreement
eat
show examples
, with fewer
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
vitamins
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
.In the coming days, they face a lot of
health
Use synonyms
 problems in their
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
 life.In my opinion, I agree
Correct word choice
that It
show examples
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is a negative impact on future generations.

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structure
Use a clear plan: start with a short sentence that says what you think. Then give 2 or 3 reasons with one example for each. End with a short result.
coherence
Make one idea in each paragraph. Begin with a topic sentence that tells the point. Use simple links like first, next, also, for example, and finally to connect ideas.
language
Fix grammar and have short, plain sentences. Read aloud to see if the words are easy to get.
content
Give real and clear examples that help the point. Do not just say 'health problems' - say 'children eat fast food often and have less energy' and explain why.
content
You show a clear view that fast food has a bad effect, which is good for task aim.
content
You try to give points and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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