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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

2019-12-07: Task 2 Some people think it is more important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
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One of the most significant
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the
world
Use synonyms
 is
food
Use synonyms
shortge
Correct your spelling
shortage
shortages
. The main causes are population explosion and climate change. These issues are counteracted by factory farming and genetically modified foods. On one hand, since the development and advancement of modern technology and medicine, humans have been protected from many serious illness and diseases. Eventually, both life
expectency
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 and birth rate have been skyrocketed and ultimately humans
pupulation
Correct your spelling
population
 is growing
in
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at
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 an alarming rate.
Nevertheless
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, the area for
food
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 production has been declined dramatically.
Similarly
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, due to climate change, many
farmland
Change to a plural noun
farmlands
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 became arid land which lost its fertility, so the entire
food
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 production had faced
severe
Add an article
a severe
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 shortage of edibles. Currently, the
world
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 population rate is more than 750
millon
Correct your spelling
million
.These two factors led
into
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to
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 severe famine in various part of the
world
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.
On the other hand
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, the
world
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 nations decided to bring a radical change in the way the eatables are produced.
First
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 of all, they introduced factory farming, in which, animals are genetically modified to enhance theirs
efficieny
Correct your spelling
efficiency
efficient
 in producing more eggs, milk, and meat.
Therefore
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, the production has been increased within a small period of time.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a revolution in
agriculture
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the agriculture
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 sector by implementing a new cultivating method called engineered fruits and vegetables. These items are
resistent
Correct your spelling
resistant
 to various diseases and climate changes along with tastier, bigger.
For instance
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, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, they have been using
this
Linking Words
 method
since
Change preposition
for
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 many years successfully. In conclusion,
due to
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apply
show examples
population explosion and
changed
Replace the word
changing
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 climates contribute
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food
Change preposition
to food
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 scarcity.
This
Linking Words
 can be effectively managed by intensive farming methods and
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of modified seeds.
Submitted by Sal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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