Many parents, mostly mothers, stay at home to take care of the house and look after children. Many believe that the government should pay them a wage for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Despite living in a modern era many
parents
still prefer to do all the households as well as take care of their kids by themselves. Although
some individuals think that a salary should be paid for this
reason by authorities, I strongly disagree with this
statement.
Some parents
especially mothers stay at home
to bring up their children and do the house chores by
their own, so it is not possible for both of them to work and earn Change preposition
on
money
. This
would cause some economic problems in the family, because these days, one breadwinners
can afford the expenditures of all family. Many schools are private and Change to a singular noun
breadwinner
also
there are many other extra classes such
as music classes and sport
clubs which are available and required for upgrading kids. If only one of the Change the noun form
sports
parents
work
, the wage earner could not support all expenses. In Change the verb form
works
this
regard
many Add a comma
,regard
parents
suffer mentally or even physically due to lack of money
. Therefore
, it would be better that
Correct your spelling
than
governments
support these families financially by paying a perk. In this
way, the more satisfied and happier families in a society, the less
social problems would be in a country.
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
On the other hand
, some believe that it is not logical to pay salary to parents
who stayed at home
to look after kids by governments
. It is vital to invest in other benefits such
as establishing more community centers
to protect families. The country needs more highly- equipped hospitals to improve people health. More facilities are required to be allocated in state schools. There are lots of other requirements in a region to be provided by Change the spelling
centres
governments
. In my point of view, by paying money
regularly to parents
who stay at home
by authorities, many crucial amenities and progress would Change the verb form
be held
be hold
due to lack of budget in a country.
In conclusion, while some people believe that Correct your spelling
behold
a
payment should be paid by Remove the article
apply
governments
to those parents
who stay at home
to take care of home
and children, I totally disagree with them and think that that money
should be considered for the different purposes and progress associated with the whole society.Submitted by Elahe on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite