Many parents, mostly mothers, stay at home to take care of the house and look after children. Many believe that the government should pay them a wage for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #mothers #home #care #house #children #government #wage

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Despite living in a modern era many

parents

Use synonyms

still prefer to do all the households as well as take care of their kids by themselves.

Although

Linking Words

some individuals think that a salary should be paid for

this

Linking Words

reason by authorities, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. Some

parents

Use synonyms

especially mothers stay at

home

Use synonyms

to bring up their children and do the house chores

Change preposition

show examples

their own, so it is not possible for both of them to work and earn

money

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

would cause some economic problems in the family, because these days, one

breadwinners

Change to a singular noun

breadwinner

show examples

can afford the expenditures of all family. Many schools are private and

also

Linking Words

there are many other extra classes

such

Linking Words

as music classes and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs which are available and required for upgrading kids. If only one of the

parents

Use synonyms

work

Change the verb form

works

show examples

, the wage earner could not support all expenses. In

this

Linking Words

regard

Add a comma

,regard

show examples

many

parents

Use synonyms

suffer mentally or even physically due to lack of

money

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, it would be better

that

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

governments

Use synonyms

support these families financially by paying a perk. In

this

Linking Words

way, the more satisfied and happier families in a society, the

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

social problems would be in a country.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some believe that it is not logical to pay salary to

parents

Use synonyms

who stayed at

home

Use synonyms

to look after kids by

governments

Use synonyms

. It is vital to invest in other benefits

such

Linking Words

as establishing more community

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

to protect families. The country needs more highly- equipped hospitals to improve people health. More facilities are required to be allocated in state schools. There are lots of other requirements in a region to be provided by

governments

Use synonyms

. In my point of view, by paying

money

Use synonyms

regularly to

parents

Use synonyms

who stay at

home

Use synonyms

by authorities, many crucial amenities and progress would

Change the verb form

be held

show examples

be hold

Correct your spelling

behold

show examples

due to lack of budget in a country. In conclusion, while some people believe that

Remove the article

apply

show examples

payment should be paid by

governments

Use synonyms

to those

parents

Use synonyms

who stay at

home

Use synonyms

to take care of

home

Use synonyms

and children, I totally disagree with them and think that that

money

Use synonyms

should be considered for the different purposes and progress associated with the whole society.

Submitted by Elahe on Wed May 12 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Many parents, mostly mothers, stay at home to take care of the house and look after children. Many believe that the government should pay them a wage for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or a negative development?

The role of prisons should be to punish criminals who have committed serious crimes. Training courses and education offered to prisoners are a waste of tax payers' money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that children should aim to be the best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.