Many parents, mostly mothers, stay at home to take care of the house and look after children. Many believe that the government should pay them a wage for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite living in a modern era many
parents
still prefer to do all the households as well as take care of their kids by themselves.
Although
some individuals think that a salary should be paid for
this
reason by authorities, I strongly disagree with
this
statement. Some
parents
especially mothers stay at
home
to bring up their children and do the house chores
by
Change preposition
on
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their own, so it is not possible for both of them to work and earn
money
.
This
would cause some economic problems in the family, because these days, one
breadwinners
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breadwinner
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can afford the expenditures of all family. Many schools are private and
also
there are many other extra classes
such
as music classes and
sport
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sports
show examples
clubs which are available and required for upgrading kids. If only one of the
parents
work
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works
show examples
, the wage earner could not support all expenses. In
this
regard
Add a comma
,regard
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many
parents
suffer mentally or even physically due to lack of
money
.
Therefore
, it would be better
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
governments
support these families financially by paying a perk. In
this
way, the more satisfied and happier families in a society, the
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
social problems would be in a country.
On the other hand
, some believe that it is not logical to pay salary to
parents
who stayed at
home
to look after kids by
governments
. It is vital to invest in other benefits
such
as establishing more community
centers
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centres
show examples
to protect families. The country needs more highly- equipped hospitals to improve people health. More facilities are required to be allocated in state schools. There are lots of other requirements in a region to be provided by
governments
. In my point of view, by paying
money
regularly to
parents
who stay at
home
by authorities, many crucial amenities and progress would
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be held
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be hold
Correct your spelling
behold
show examples
due to lack of budget in a country. In conclusion, while some people believe that
a
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apply
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payment should be paid by
governments
to those
parents
who stay at
home
to take care of
home
and children, I totally disagree with them and think that that
money
should be considered for the different purposes and progress associated with the whole society.
Submitted by Elahe on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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