Now days many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work . Some people believe that they should be given salaries by the government . Do you agree or disagree?

Recently , modernization and industrialization have been attended by
women
Use synonyms
and many of them intend to have a job . While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
taking care of the
families
Use synonyms
is the only target for other
mothers
Use synonyms
which is argued that
governments
Use synonyms
should seem salaries for the
housework
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
. I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
whit
this
Linking Words
idea . In the following essay , the reasons for my agreement with
this
Linking Words
opinion will be discussed . Nurturing more use full and beneficial
children
Use synonyms
in the future in societies would be the most
power
Replace the word
powerful
show examples
full reason for establishing income for
housework
Use synonyms
mothers
Use synonyms
by
governments
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
mother
Use synonyms
as the
first
Linking Words
and the most influential person in the people
life
Use synonyms
plays a Kay role in
children
Use synonyms
’s upbringing. Apparently , if
mothers
Use synonyms
spend more times with their
children
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
housework
Use synonyms
female ,
children
Use synonyms
will
be nurture
Change the verb form
nurture
show examples
more desirable
opposed
Change preposition
as opposed
show examples
to the
children
Use synonyms
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
their parents work out
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the
women
Use synonyms
housekeepers achieve a salary , they will be encouraged to stay at
home
Use synonyms
and more times to nurture their
children
Use synonyms
with more motivations. So , a society can have more help full
children
Use synonyms
.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
instance , a boy who his
mother
Use synonyms
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
housework
Use synonyms
and passes more time with him at
home
Use synonyms
, considerable subjects about
life
Use synonyms
would be taught
him
Change preposition
to him
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
, he will have limited emotional problems in his
life
Use synonyms
opposed
Change preposition
as opposed
show examples
to a child that his
mother
Use synonyms
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
times with him because of working out of
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,imposing incomes for
female
Add an article
a female
the female
show examples
who
preserve
Change the verb form
preserves
show examples
their
families
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of having a profession increases their determination to nurture more profitable
children
Use synonyms
in the countries future . The
second
Linking Words
reason for taking a pension
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
mothers
Use synonyms
who are
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
housework
Use synonyms
from
governments
Use synonyms
would be the fact that sometimes it is observed that many of
women
Use synonyms
have to stay at
home
Use synonyms
and they do not have a suitable situation to work out. Whilst, they have some financial needs in their
life
Use synonyms
and their
families
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
kinds of
mother
Use synonyms
will not be able to solve their financial issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
unless they are supported by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
by seeming a salary for the
housework
Use synonyms
mothers
Use synonyms
. As an example , a woman who is a single parent and takes care of her old parents and
children
Use synonyms
can not have a job. Obviously , she needs an income to pass her
families
Use synonyms
and her expenditure. So , if
governments
Use synonyms
do financial protection of
housework
Use synonyms
, they can improve their financial issues and
preserving
Change the verb form
preserve
show examples
of their
families
Use synonyms
will be comfortable . In conclusion , in my view , the more spend time with
children
Use synonyms
by
mother
Use synonyms
, the more use full people will nurture in societies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
governments
Use synonyms
impose a pension for
female
Add an article
a female
the female
show examples
who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not any job and intend to keep their
families
Use synonyms
, the
children
Use synonyms
will have been more influential in countries by the
next
Linking Words
10 years.
Also
Linking Words
, financial conditions in their
families
Use synonyms
will be improved . Zohreh
noori
Change the capitalization
Noori
show examples
AC

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: