Now days many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work . Some people believe that they should be given salaries by the government . Do you agree or disagree?

#mothers #care #work #people #salaries #government

Recently , modernization and industrialization have been attended by

women

and many of them intend to have a job . While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

taking care of the

families

is the only target for other

mothers

which is argued that

governments

should seem salaries for the

housework

women

. I

agree

Add the preposition

onagree

toagree

withagree

show examples

whit

this

idea . In the following essay , the reasons for my agreement with

this

opinion will be discussed . Nurturing more use full and beneficial

children

in the future in societies would be the most

power

Replace the word

powerful

show examples

full reason for establishing income for

housework

mothers

governments

Moreover

, a

mother

as the

first

and the most influential person in the people

life

plays a Kay role in

children

’s upbringing. Apparently , if

mothers

spend more times with their

children

such

housework

female ,

children

will

be nurture

Change the verb form

nurture

show examples

more desirable

opposed

Change preposition

as opposed

show examples

to the

children

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

their parents work out

Change preposition

with.

show examples

Furthermore

, if the

women

housekeepers achieve a salary , they will be encouraged to stay at

home

and more times to nurture their

children

with more motivations. So , a society can have more help full

children

Fore

Correct your spelling

For

show examples

instance , a boy who his

mother

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apply

show examples

housework

and passes more time with him at

home

, considerable subjects about

life

would be taught

him

Change preposition

to him

show examples

additionally

, he will have limited emotional problems in his

life

opposed

Change preposition

as opposed

show examples

to a child that his

mother

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

times with him because of working out of

home

Add an article

the home

show examples

Therefore

,imposing incomes for

female

Add an article

a female

the female

show examples

who

preserve

Change the verb form

preserves

show examples

their

families

instead

of having a profession increases their determination to nurture more profitable

children

in the countries future . The

second

reason for taking a pension

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

mothers

who are

Remove the article

apply

show examples

housework

from

governments

would be the fact that sometimes it is observed that many of

women

have to stay at

home

and they do not have a suitable situation to work out. Whilst, they have some financial needs in their

life

and their

families

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

kinds of

mother

will not be able to solve their financial issues

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apply

show examples

unless they are supported by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

by seeming a salary for the

housework

mothers

. As an example , a woman who is a single parent and takes care of her old parents and

children

can not have a job. Obviously , she needs an income to pass her

families

and her expenditure. So , if

governments

do financial protection of

housework

, they can improve their financial issues and

preserving

Change the verb form

preserve

show examples

of their

families

will be comfortable . In conclusion , in my view , the more spend time with

children

mother

, the more use full people will nurture in societies.

Furthermore

, if

governments

impose a pension for

female

Add an article

a female

the female

show examples

who

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not any job and intend to keep their

families

, the

children

will have been more influential in countries by the

10 years.

Also

, financial conditions in their

families

will be improved . Zohreh

noori

Change the capitalization

Noori

show examples

Submitted by z.noori347 on Wed May 12 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

492 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Now days many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work . Some people believe that they should be given salaries by the government . Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. What extent Do you Agree or Disagree ??

Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.