IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Parents should encourage children to spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. Do you agree or disagree？

#parents #children #time #activities #disagree？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that parents should encourage a teenager to do more physical exercise, even though
this
Linking Words
 possibly means less
time
Use synonyms
 spent on studies. Considering the declining health of many students, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. Indeed, because the juvenile is silly and naive, parents should guide their adolescent to do something. Many times youth are influenced by their peers, and they will do something about mishaven. At
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
, parents should intervene in the exchange or encourage
children
Use synonyms
 to do not. Of course, the kid really spends too much
time
Use synonyms
 learning. At any age, primary or secondary, they have endless homework or assessment to complete.
In addition
Linking Words
, they need another day to preview and review. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
children
Use synonyms
 will not have
time
Use synonyms
 to participate in social activities
such
Linking Words
 as community exercise,
sports
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 games, etc., which is not conducive to their all-round development.
In addition
Linking Words
, even if there is
time
Use synonyms
, students are not willing to be relevant to do sth to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
 because they think it is too
time
Use synonyms
-consuming, But in fact, physical activities are very conducive to
children
Use synonyms
's physical development.
For example
Linking Words
, running can exercise students' cardiopulmonary and respiratory functions, Even endurance stamina. and
sports
Use synonyms
 activities
such
Linking Words
 as basketball and football can cultivate social skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication skills and leadership skills of
children
Use synonyms
, which are lacking by those busy with being taken with the study.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: