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In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying in and after school and have less free time. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on children and society that they live in?

#countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
Most
of
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parents
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the parents
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 believe the achievement of
children
 is directly proportional to the amount of
time
 that has been devoted to
study
. In my opinion, spending excessive
study
time
 can cause negative effects on both
children
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
To begin
 with,
children
 are likely to get tiring of
study
 when they spending
the
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a
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 vast of
time
 on it.
Thus
,
the
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apply
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excessive
study
time
 can be
Add a hyphen
counter-productive
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counter productive
Correct your spelling
counterproductive
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, especially when they
study
 alone with paper and pencil activity which is generally regarded as boring and dry.
In addition
, with spending too much
time
 on
study
,
children
 may lose the opportunity to meet with the real world through other outdoor
activities
,
such
 as visiting a museum, travelling abroad and participating in physical
activities
. A number of research results have demonstrated that outdoor
activities
 can broaden a child's horizon and are more beneficial and meaningful than
study
 mechanically.
Besides
,
study
 both in and after school may not make students excel in the job market, because employers not only attach importance to job applicants' academic achievement
,
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apply
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 but value their social experience.
Furthermore
,
this
 phenomenon is
also
 lead to a couple of negative impacts on
the
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apply
show examples
society. There would be
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 well-rounded students if they only spent
time
 on schoolwork. To
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 extent, it would cause
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 employment rate since having high academic achievement itself may not make students eligible for a job if they lack
of
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apply
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fundamental employ-abilities which is gained by social
activities
, including communication skills, interpersonal skills and acting as a team player. Other than that,
children
 tend to be less
happier
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happy
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 and prone to suffer from psychological and mental illness when spending
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount
time
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of time
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 on individual
study
 and lack of communication with others.
consequently
, the declined happiness level is likely to give rise to
suicide
Correct article usage
the suicide
show examples
 rate and anti-society
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Submitted by lemylinhthanh0108 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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