Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, it is observed that graduating from
university
is not necessary for certain types of jobs
while
some
people
believe that it is essential to take a course in
university
for finding
Change preposition
to find
show examples
a
job
more easily. In
this
essay, both views will be discussed, and I opine that the latter view is more convincing. On the one hand, some
people
believe that working after secondary
education
is more advantageous. In many companies, they seek
people
who have
job
experience. Those
people
tend to have high working efficiency.
For example
, experienced workers are familiar with the team project which may take a longer time to deal with for workers who are new to the project.
Moreover
,
people
who early
work
in a particular field might have wide
knowledge
in terms of their tasks. In
this
respect, they may
work
more effectively in practice terms than
people
without working experience.
On the other hand
, a
university
education
is essential for
people
to find a
job
. As some companies require a certain degree of
education
certification, graduating from
university
is beneficial to apply for a company you desire to
work
for.
For instance
, most of the workers in the IT field are hired because of their
university
graduation certification.
In addition
,
university
education
is helpful for
job
searchers as it encourages them to broaden their
knowledge
.
This
means that the
knowledge
from
university
is useful
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
a
job
.
For example
, in the
job
interview, they could use
the
Change the word
their
show examples
knowledge
to answer complicated questions which separates them from other interviewers who
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not have a
university
education
. In conclusion, some
people
believe that
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is not necessary as
job
experience is helpful for
people
to adapt to their
work
and to have high working efficiency
while
others consider
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
essential as some companies require
Univerisity
Correct your spelling
University
show examples
graduators
Replace the word
graduates
show examples
. In my opinion, it is beneficial to take a course
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
rather than
work
after graduating high school. Secondary students should be encouraged to study in
university
for their future jobs.
Submitted by joyulim320 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. Make sure to include a stronger conclusion that summarizes the key points made in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • specialized fields
  • job prospects
  • earning potential
  • formal education
  • networking opportunities
  • career advancement
  • practical skills
  • work environment
  • financial independence
  • high costs
  • skills and experience
  • formal education
  • prioritize
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