Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, it is observed that graduating from
university
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is not necessary for certain types of jobs
while
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some
people
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believe that it is essential to take a course in
university
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for finding
Change preposition
to find
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a
job
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more easily. In
this
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essay, both views will be discussed, and I opine that the latter view is more convincing. On the one hand, some
people
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believe that working after secondary
education
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is more advantageous. In many companies, they seek
people
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who have
job
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experience. Those
people
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tend to have high working efficiency.
For example
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, experienced workers are familiar with the team project which may take a longer time to deal with for workers who are new to the project.
Moreover
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,
people
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who early
work
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in a particular field might have wide
knowledge
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in terms of their tasks. In
this
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respect, they may
work
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more effectively in practice terms than
people
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without working experience.
On the other hand
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, a
university
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education
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is essential for
people
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to find a
job
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. As some companies require a certain degree of
education
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certification, graduating from
university
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is beneficial to apply for a company you desire to
work
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for.
For instance
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, most of the workers in the IT field are hired because of their
university
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graduation certification.
In addition
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,
university
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education
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is helpful for
job
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searchers as it encourages them to broaden their
knowledge
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.
This
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means that the
knowledge
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from
university
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is useful
to find
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in finding
show examples
a
job
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.
For example
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, in the
job
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interview, they could use
the
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their
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knowledge
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to answer complicated questions which separates them from other interviewers who
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not have a
university
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education
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. In conclusion, some
people
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believe that
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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is not necessary as
job
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experience is helpful for
people
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to adapt to their
work
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and to have high working efficiency
while
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others consider
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university
Correct article usage
a university
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education
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is
Correct your spelling
as
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essential as some companies require
Univerisity
Correct your spelling
University
show examples
graduators
Replace the word
graduates
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. In my opinion, it is beneficial to take a course
in
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at
show examples
university
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rather than
work
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after graduating high school. Secondary students should be encouraged to study in
university
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for their future jobs.
Submitted by joyulim320 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. Make sure to include a stronger conclusion that summarizes the key points made in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • specialized fields
  • job prospects
  • earning potential
  • formal education
  • networking opportunities
  • career advancement
  • practical skills
  • work environment
  • financial independence
  • high costs
  • skills and experience
  • formal education
  • prioritize
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