Some People Say Parent Should Not Allow Children To Do Activities Which Could Be Dangerous | do you agree or disagree

According to
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some people,
children
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should not be allowed to take part in dangerous
activities
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.
While
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I do agree with
this
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view to a great extent, in my opinion, allowing
children
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to perform adventurous
activities
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under expert supervision is a great way to help them conquer their fears. There are certainly several reasons to prevent young
children
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from participating in dangerous
activities
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. To start with, they are too young to gauge the consequences of their actions. Their understanding of safety and harm is not fully developed
and
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, and
show examples
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consequently
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consequently,
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they may undertake
activities
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that cause them serious injuries and sometimes even death. For these reasons, young
children
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should be forbidden from doing things that might hurt them.
On the other hand
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, many dangerous
activities
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can be safely performed by
children
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under adult supervision.
For example
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, it is dangerous for
children
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who cannot swim to go and bathe in the river or sea.
However
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, if they are accompanied by a parent or guardian with good swimming skills,
this
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is an opportunity for them to not only have fun but
also
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learn an important life skill.
Likewise
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,
children
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should not be allowed to cook on their own, but if there is a parent to guide them, they can safely undertake
this
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activity as well. Undertaking dangerous or adventurous
activities
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allow
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allows
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children
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to conquer their inner fears and learn valuable skills that will stand them in good stead.
Also
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, many of these dangers can be mitigated by equipping
children
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with protective clothing and taking other safety measures. In conclusion,
children
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must certainly not be allowed to engage in dangerous
activities
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unattended.
However
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, it is possible for them to undertake many of these
activities
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safely under adult supervision.

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task response
Work on a clearer main idea in each paragraph and state your view clearly in the opening, then keep it in the body.
task response
Add more detail to each point with a second example or a brief reason.
coherence
Use simple connect words to show flow: firstly, but, then, in addition, finally.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has one clear idea and the conclusion sums up.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors like 'allows' with singular nouns and check subject-verb use.
lexical
Choose words within easy common use when possible to stay simple.
content
The writer shows a clear view that is stated early and again at the end.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay gives some real safety examples about supervision and rules.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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