Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Currently, there is a debate about whether schools should only offer
subjects
that can help
students
’ future career success (i.e.,
subjects
such
as
sports
and
music
are irrelevant). As far as I am concerned, I believe
subjects
such
as
music
and
sports
are equally important. Compelling arguments can be made that those seemingly unimportant
subjects
such
as
art
,
music
and
sports
are actually just as important as core
subjects
like
English
and
maths
. The
first
point with respect to
this
is that
art
,
music
and
sports
make a student a
well- rounded
Correct your spelling
well-rounded
show examples
person. There is no denying that a young person who is artistic and athletic is more likely to be physically and mentally healthy.
Furthermore
,
subjects
like
art
,
music
and
sports
help
students
to identify their interests and hobbies early in life. True, if a young person is able to know what they are really passionate about, they can continue doing what they enjoy in their adult life. More importantly,
sports
,
art
and
music
help
students
strike a balance in their learning at school. Clearly, if
students
only study
English
and
maths
at school, their life will be very boring. It may be tempting to argue that
students
should focus on what makes them more successful in the future. The fundamental reason for
this
is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mainstream society defines “success” in a narrow-minded way. By
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
I mean most people believe that making more money is the only definition of success and they think learning
English
and
maths
helps them make more money. But
further
analysis would make it clear that being happy is probably way more important than having more wealth in the long term. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that
subjects
such
as
music
,
art
and
sports
should be taught in every school, apart from
subjects
like
English
and
maths
.
Submitted by amiralzde on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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