Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #offer #subjects #students’ #future #career #success #music #sports

Currently, there is a debate about whether schools should only offer

subjects

that can help

students

’ future career success (i.e.,

subjects

such

sports

and

music

are irrelevant). As far as I am concerned, I believe

subjects

such

music

and

sports

are equally important. Compelling arguments can be made that those seemingly unimportant

subjects

such

art

music

and

sports

are actually just as important as core

subjects

English

and

maths

. The

first

point with respect to

this

is that

art

music

and

sports

make a student a

well- rounded

Correct your spelling

well-rounded

show examples

person. There is no denying that a young person who is artistic and athletic is more likely to be physically and mentally healthy.

Furthermore

subjects

art

music

and

sports

help

students

to identify their interests and hobbies early in life. True, if a young person is able to know what they are really passionate about, they can continue doing what they enjoy in their adult life. More importantly,

sports

art

and

music

help

students

strike a balance in their learning at school. Clearly, if

students

only study

English

and

maths

at school, their life will be very boring. It may be tempting to argue that

students

should focus on what makes them more successful in the future. The fundamental reason for

this

is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mainstream society defines “success” in a narrow-minded way. By

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

I mean most people believe that making more money is the only definition of success and they think learning

English

and

maths

helps them make more money. But

further

analysis would make it clear that being happy is probably way more important than having more wealth in the long term. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that

subjects

such

music

art

and

sports

should be taught in every school, apart from

subjects

English

and

maths

Submitted by amiralzde on Thu May 13 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. Do you agree or disagree?

in many countries nowdays consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food prdouced all over the world. do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Nowadays people can buy a large variety of household goods more than ever before in most countries in the world.what is the cause of it?Is it a good or bad development?Give your opinion and examples.

Some people say that living in big cities is becoming more difficult. Others say that it is getting easier. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

You would like to join the local orchestra Write a letter of application to the orchestra. In the letter: - Introduce yourself and your instrument of choice - Explain how your credentials make you a good candidate - Express your enthusiasm for music Write 150 words .

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+