Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do advantages of peer pressure outweigh disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #pressure

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

has impacts on the majority of young

people

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

these effects can be favourable in some cases, they lead to grave harm to youngsters in other cases. Despite the fact that

such

Linking Words

effects can have a number of advantages, I am in favour of those thinking that its drawbacks to young

people

Use synonyms

’s well-being are far more concerning. On the one hand,

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

can bring several benefits, one of them being one of which is a positive influence on young

people

Use synonyms

’s behaviour.

In other words

Linking Words

, if their peers engage in some activities, like sports, studying or competitions,

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

can make young

people

Use synonyms

participate in these activities.

This

Linking Words

is just because most young

people

Use synonyms

want to be like their peers. In

this

Linking Words

way, youngsters can improve their behaviours

as well as

Linking Words

their habits. the second advantage is a boost in social skills.

This

Linking Words

suggests that adolescents subjected to

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

can benefit from learning about social dynamics, connection building, and how to communicate with others.

As a result

Linking Words

, adolescents may not face any problems related to social skills and communication in the future. I,

however

Linking Words

, believe these positives can not outweigh the negatives.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I reckon that

peer

Use synonyms

pressure

Use synonyms

may contribute to many disadvantages. First and foremost, it can be risky to young

people

Use synonyms

’s mental health.

In other words

Linking Words

, there are a lot of young individuals who are engaged in unsafe games or illegal online sites, and if young individuals are influenced by these types of

people

Use synonyms

, they may behave worse. A good example of

this

Linking Words

can be gambling. If teenagers attend gambling games, as their peers do, and lose something valuable like money, they may face stress, anxiety, and a decrease in self-esteem.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, what is even more concerning is the widespread adoption of harmful habits among young

people

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, if a youth's friends smoke, drink, or use inappropriate language, they may feel pressured to join in to fit in and gain approval.

This

Linking Words

can negatively impact their health and behaviour, potentially harming their future job and social opportunities. All things considered, I agree with individuals who believe that the negative consequences on young

people

Use synonyms

's well-being outweigh any potential benefits, even though

such

Linking Words

effects can have a lot of advantages.

Submitted by minimix1203 on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are moments when the flow of ideas can be more organized. Consider using more transition words to improve the flow and make the connection between sentences and paragraphs more seamless.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for your essay. However, try to make your conclusion more impactful by summarizing the key points briefly and reinforcing your opinion strongly.

task achievement

While your main points are supported and relevant, there is room to include more detailed and specific examples. This will help illustrate your arguments more convincingly and improve the overall clarity of your essay.

task achievement

Some of your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but certain sections could benefit from more elaboration. Make sure each idea is fully developed to provide a thorough response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and presents the topic and your stance effectively.

task achievement

Your essay includes relevant and specific examples, which help in illustrating your points.

task achievement

You have successfully provided a mix of both pros and cons of peer pressure, which shows balanced argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this ?
In recent years the number of people travelling abroad for learn a foreign language is increasing.There is an opportunity to learn the language more deeply by talking with for foreigners abroad. Also payments to cause trouble at studying abroad.
7.5
band
Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?
The vast majority of cities are constructing residential zones by constructing high-rise buildings, while others create neighbourhood by houses which are located on a wider area of land. Skyscrapers are better, as they provide services which can help individuals save their time and money, while individual place of residence requires a good amount of attention.
<4
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and if so, how?
There is a trend these days of paying more attention to understand English than the native languages which has led many to believe that local languages may become obsolete.Although learning English is important for higher studies, most people can do without it.Efforts should be made to preserve the indigenous lingo of a community by making it a compulsory subject and promoting it through national madia.
7
band
In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
More children who eat excessive amounts of fast food are diagnosed with obesity in some nations. Some people regard school canteens prohibiting selling them as the best solution to tackle this problem. I partially disagree with this, for it is the individual responsibility to choose what people should eat in spite of their improving health conditions when schools stop selling fast food.
<4
band
Some people believe that teenagers should study all school subjects. Others argue that they should focus on only the subjects that they are good at or find most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In my point of view, both of opinions have their own benefits and disadvanteges for its own students/teenagers. Firstly, with teenagers study all school subjects would provide foundation for their future learning, and also would help any of those teenagers who haven't figure out their specialization with try all subjects, this kind of learning will help them to become adaptable and increase their problem solving skill. But, this also have disadvantage, such as stress would easily happen.

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do advantages of peer pressure outweigh disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this ?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and if so, how?

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that teenagers should study all school subjects. Others argue that they should focus on only the subjects that they are good at or find most interesting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.