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Writing Samples
Band 5

When choosing a job the salary is the most important consideration to what extent do you agree or disagree

#job #salary #consideration
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Even though a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 share the view that a high_paying job is the most pivotal factor in choosing, I broadly agree with the idea that other considerations have
active
Add an article
an active
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 role to play. On the one hand, we are living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 world that our social status
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been defined by our positions and how much money we earn.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having lucrative jobs can contribute to
maintain
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maintaining
show examples
work_life
Correct article usage
a work_life
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 balance.
For instance
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 ,  because they are not overloading with work, may acting better in their family responsibilities.
Besides
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, higher payrolls have provided more options for paying the living costs of householders, which consist of bills , healthcare, education, and so on.
Thus
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, given that
people
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 are getting more and more demanding, they might need an occupation
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can make a decent living out of that. Despite these advantages , other factors can be taken into account.
On the other hand
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, working in a friendly atmosphere in which
people
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 can get along really well with each other can lead to enhancing their both productivity and job satisfying even if they earned low_income.
In addition
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, it is proved that not having had peaceful working hours, number of staff members had conflict in their families . So, it is not worth just gaining decent wages.
Therefore
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, there are a vast number of
people
Use synonyms
 who can not be satisfied by good_prospects positions. Owning to the fact that their criteria
is
Change the verb form
are
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 totally different. They want to have a positive effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society which can cause increasing the level of well-being.
This
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 may give them a sense of achievement. In conclusion,
although
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 the salary is an integral part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 selecting a job, I personally tend to believe that
this
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 is by no means the key consideration , but other items can be equally important
Submitted by godbaman93 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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