Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #olympic #games #people #nations #olympics #wastes #money

In many

countries

, they spend their budget on sports to increase levels. According to

this

, some

people

say that the purpose of the Olympic

games

is to bring

people

from different nations.

However

, others argue that the money should be used for other issues. The theme of

this

essay

are

Change the verb form

show examples

mention both views and my opinion that I strongly agree with spending on other problems.

First

of all,

people

who think that the Olympics bring different nations because they will be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

economic growth in the hosting country. There are abundant tourists from all over the world and the image of the hosting nation is up. Due to

this

, many shops and companies could gain their profit.

Moreover

, citizens have

also

benefited from it.

For example

, for many tourists who come to host cities, residents help to promote their town or city.

However

, certain

people

say that it is useless to utilize it in the Olympic

games

. The main reason is that there are other problems

such

as medical problems or education. The amount of spending on international competition is huge and that money is beneficial for the limited

people

directly.

Furthermore

, it needs a lot of time to prepare for it but if it is difficult to hold, there will be a large loss.

For instance

, the Tokyo Olympic is delayed owing to the covid-19.

This

caused numerous losses. In conclusion, in my opinion, I personally believe that the merits of

games

cannot overcome the negative effects.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it seems that most of the

countries

which have hosted the

games

are rich

countries

so the government needs to think of other ways that developing

countries

can

also

participate in it.

Submitted by dokmally2 on Sat May 15 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a students performance.Continual assessment such as course books and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. do you agree or disagree

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded than punished. to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Creative artist should always be given freedom to express their own ideas in whichever way they wish.There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?