Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #meat #fish #health #world

Nowadays, there are some

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

usually change their food mentality in order to follow a vegetarian or vegan

diets

Correct the article-noun agreement

diet

show examples

Obvoiusly

Correct your spelling

Obviously

, it means that they abolished

meat

and

fish

from their life. In fact, they think that

this

is not only better for their health but

also

it could create benefits to our world environment. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will try to discuss

this

view and

finally

Add a comma

finally,

show examples

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

state my own opinion regarding the matter. First of all, it is important to underline that from a "medical" point of view, proteins

derive

Change the form of the verb

derived

show examples

from

meat

fish

represent an important part of our

week

Replace the word

weekly

show examples

diet. In fact, it is usually recommended to eat both two or three days a week.

In contrast

, there are

people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

prefer that type of

proteins

Fix the agreement mistake

protein

show examples

from their daily meal or dinner because it is usually suggested by

people

that

meat

and

fish

could cause cancer in the future. Because of

this

people

prefer to eat proteins from

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

such

as legumes.

Secondly

people

from their own point of view, believe that

animals

should not be touched and hunted because in

this

way we could damage our environment. In fact,

for

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

fishes, are

responsable

Correct your spelling

responsible

to clean

Change preposition

for cleaning

show examples

and

substain

Correct your spelling

sustain

the offshore

eco-system

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

show examples

For

this

reason, if

people

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

start to avoid

fish

and

meat

Change preposition

show examples

their typical foods, our society could obtain

Change the article

the

show examples

greatest nature and

above all

restore the relationship with our Earth.

To conclude

, it is important to underline that it is true that

animals

are fundamental for our habitat, but I personally agree that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

represent the "

food-chain

Correct your spelling

food chain

show examples

" and

for

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

it is recognized that

animals

eat

animals

and we are similar to them.

Submitted by lorenzomonacourro on Sat May 15 2021

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coherence cohesion

Clear structure and progression of ideas needed. Introduction and conclusion require improvement. Use appropriate examples to support ideas.

task achievement

Address the task more comprehensively and provide relevant examples. Ensure a clear opinion is presented in the conclusion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that it is important to have a university degree to secure a good job, while others believe that work experience and personal skills are more crucial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think learning history in school is important. Others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today´s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environmental problems. To what extend to you agree or disagree?