IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In the current times, one of the most trending topics is the future of wild beings. Few populaces think that animals and birds in the wild are given extreme importance through various means, and other people believe that
this
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 is not the case. I strongly assert that attention and benefits are provided to these
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
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 way more than required, and
this
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 essay will throw some light on the reasons for my opinion. At
first,
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media
Correct article usage
the media
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 plays an important role in sympathizing
news
Change preposition
with news
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 pertaining to endangered species;
however
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, the reality looks extremely diverse as the statistics provided by the news channels
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not always true.
Secondly
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,
although
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 hunting has been an integral part of our society for many centuries, it has been condemned only for the
last
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 few years. The reason for
this
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 is because of the involvement of some famous personalities in
such
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 events, and anything they do becomes a flash story for everyone to talk about. It has been observed that despite the percentage of hunting wild animals and birds by many Bollywood stars is minimal, they seem to have come under the radar way more than those who actually commit
this
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 act frequently.
Furthermore
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, adoption and donation have started becoming popular, and many authorities availing these benefits are not fulfilling their responsibilities
due to
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 the cushion they have been provided.
For instance
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, many individuals adopt wild species in the Zoo, and they take care of the entire expense
that is
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 incurred;
nevertheless
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, the management of these wild parks
collect
Correct subject-verb agreement
collects
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 the same entry fee from the public despite getting donations from people. It is noticed that
this
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 trend has come to popularity only in the
last
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 decade and more than 50% of Zoos are replicating
this
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 strategy to reap the benefits. In conclusion, I completely believe that humans have given extreme resources and attention to wild beings, either in the form of media hype or
high net worth
Add a hyphen
high-net-worth
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 individuals donating money, and these things have been utilized incorrectly in many ways.

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a balanced perspective on the issue. Organize the ideas in a coherent manner and support them with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively set up and wrap up the essay, respectively.
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