IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that the best way to encourage children that have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #diet #school #parents
In
this
 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that the most effective method to incentivize children that have a healthy
diet
 at an educational establishment,
however
, others argue that
parents
 should play a role in teaching their offspring to eat
food
, which is beneficial to their health. From my perspective, I subscribe to the former idea. On the one hand, schools are an ideal educational environment to provide useful information about a healthy
diet
.
This
 is because teachers are trained professionally and well-experienced in educating children on the significance of consuming healthy
food
,
therefore
, students will be aware of the fact that if they have healthy meals, their well-being will become more robust.
In addition
, nowadays, most
parents
 prove challenging in devoting their time to instruct their child to have a healthy
diet
 due to the heavy workload in their workplace, so no one is better than schools, particularly teachers in shouldering
this
 responsibility.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that father and mother play an important part in educating their offspring on having fundamental knowledge about consuming healthy dishes.
Although
 the majority of
parents
 rarely spend their time looking for information about
food
, which is beneficial to children’s health, they still have basic understandings about healthy
food
, which are enough to teach their child to avoid
food
 that can have negative impacts on their offspring’s health.
For instance
,
parents
 may talk about the bad effects of eating fast
food
 and encourage their child to eat
this
 kind of
food
 as least as possible and with
this
 advice from
parents
, children will have less possibility of consuming much fast
food
 in the future. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that the best way to incentivize students that have a healthy
diet
 at school.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: