Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

#favourite #pastime #people #activities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, almost all

people

Use synonyms

have their own

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

amusement

also

Linking Words

, shopping has become

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

part of our life. Shopping becomes

engaging

Add an article

an engaging

show examples

habit for youth, teenagers

spends

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

most of their

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

as well. From my point of view, it is because of the peer influences and coming more trends.

To begin

Linking Words

with, one of the crucial thing in developing young adult is their surroundings, their close friends. Peer pressure is encouraged and wants to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the development of the shopping industry is good, but many young

people

Use synonyms

spend their parents' money on clothes, which they could use

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

for other activities. The emergence of trends and the interest of others, ie young children,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

do not want to stay out of the trend and imitate. Young adults should motivate themselves to do other

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

activities

such

Linking Words

as reading a book or doing charity.

Firstly

Linking Words

, reading a book helps them to increase their critical thinking and remembering information, it is better than spending

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping.

Secondly

Linking Words

, if teenagers do some charity, they will understand the value of money, how to spend it properly, what they do when

people

Use synonyms

in society do not have enough money.

For

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

There are

such

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

in society who can merely buy

a bread

Remove the article

bread

a loaf of bread

a piece of bread

a slice of bread

show examples

or get

appropriate

Add an article

an appropriate

show examples

education. To conclude, while it is true that youth spends most of their

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping, they should be encouraged to spend their free

time

Use synonyms

more wisely on activities that could

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them to live

Add an article

a more

show examples

convenient life.

Submitted by Dariga on Sun May 16 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?
In today's modern society, many people throw away a huge amount of food from stores and restaurants. This essay will examine the roots of this problem while also outlining some measures to minimize such waste.
8
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?
In our ever-changing world, it is argued by a group of people that music has the capability of creating a connection among people of diverse cultures and ages. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement regarding conceptual attraction and melodic appeal. This essay will analyze the rationale for my viewpoints.
5.5
band
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it
My name is Rajwant Singh, and I am working in your company at Bradford branch. My employee number is ZP303. I'm writing this letter in regard to request to you for my transfer to Toronto head office for 6 months because they are going to start a 6 months training session of advanced skills in artificial intelligence.
5
band
The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on the other planets.some people think that it is wastage of money and government should spend more money on addressing the problems of public.To what extent do you agree?
Some argue that the government is wasting money to discover life outside Earth and the money should be spent on solving problems in the society instead. I believed that as there are no significant discoveries despite the never-ending increase of budget, and there are more urgent matters in our communities, I totally agree the state should invest more on addressing social problems instead of discovering the unknown.
5
band
Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people's view is that the young generation is necessary to work. For instance, some needful job skills, those are bank accounter or taxi driver together with this specific subjects at school. This essay will give some information about these. That is, the Pros and cons sides. In my point of view, During learning, pupils need to get knowledge more related to their interests.

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on the other planets.some people think that it is wastage of money and government should spend more money on addressing the problems of public.To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?