Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Some people believe that this is an illness and should be treated medically. Others feel that this is only a result of unhealthy habits and it is sport that must help. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

#childhood #obesity #countries #people #illness #habits #sport #point

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It is believed that youngster's

fatness

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is becoming an important issue throughout the world. some people believe that

this

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is an ailment and

youngsters

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should take

medicines

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however

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,others think

this

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is just a matter of food regimes .In

this

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essay,I intend to discuss both sides and give you my opinion.

Firstly

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,the supporters of the idea that

youngsters

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fatness

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is an ailment highlight the fact that

fatness

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can result in other serious diseases ,

therefore

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, it needs to take care of by doctors and

medicines

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In other words

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,some potentially deadly ailments

such

Linking Words

as heart disease can be caused by

fatness

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consequently

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,it should be taken cares of seriously by

medicines

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Further

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, losing

weight

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could be a very difficult process for some

youngsters

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Therefore

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,so many children might avoid playing sports or changing their meal regimes . As I see it,

this

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is not a powerful idea to take

medicines

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to reduce

weight

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and other solution might be a better step.

However

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,the proponents of the idea that

fatness

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is only a consequence of a sedentary

lifestyle

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and eating convenience food claim that children could change their

lifestyle

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without any

medicines

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.To put it another way ,

youngsters

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, by turning their sedentary

lifestyle

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to an active

lifestyle

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and consume healthy foods according to their food regimes,not only can lose

weight

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but

also

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they can be safe from fat cause ailments throughout their life.

Further

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, in

this

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day and age, there are so many low calories meal and lots of facilities

for instance

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gyms,soccer courts .

Therefore

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losing

weight

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is not as difficult as in the past and it can be done easily .it is my belief that

this

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concept is reasonable . In conclusion, it seems to me that taking

medicines

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and visiting doctors for losing ways would be unnecerly and if children change their

lifestyle

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and take a more healthy meal, they would loos

weight

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and secure themselves from some diseases.

Submitted by dmaycry303 on Mon May 17 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Some people believe that this is an illness and should be treated medically. Others feel that this is only a result of unhealthy habits and it is sport that must help. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one's experience, it also presents the danger of negative influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development ?