IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#believe #action #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes argued that enough preventative measures have been taken to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it seems to me new approaches can be adopted as well, and both sides will be explored in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, it is claimed that the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate is controlled since there are enough punitive measures. Indeed, a potential criminal thinks twice before they decide to break the law as they know they will face harsh punishments based on the acts passed and introduced by the authorities.
For example
Linking Words
, when a bank robber estimates the years they might be sentenced to spend imprisoned, they will probably cancel their robbery plan. The existing rules and regulations can act as a deterrent in the
crime
Use synonyms
 world, though it is advisable authorities adopt new approaches as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe more effort should be put into public awareness. Authorities should follow the lead of Sweden, where a lot of awareness campaigns are held in public places
such
Linking Words
 as schools, subway stations and pedestrian precincts to educated people about the importance of being a law-abiding citizen and the benefits of a secure society. When people come to the realization that they can go for a brisk walk late at nights without being worried about theft, they probably lose their potential interest in committing a
crime
Use synonyms
 and avoid causing the same worry for others. In conclusion, I think punitive measures were effective to a certain extent in reducing the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate, but more effort should be put into raising public awareness to reduce the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate more effectively.
Submitted by mahyarkazerooni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: