In recent years, there have been growing interest in the relationship between inequality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.

One of the widely discussed issue today is personal accomplishment and inequality in society. Some are convinced that they have more progress to achieve a goal in egalitarian societies while others believe that individuals should be free to accomplish their aim due to individuals merits.
This
essay will explore why a fair society provides greater advantages,
although
. The public should accept their own behaviour. It is obvious that impressive achievement always is the result of
people
's effort and determination. Talented citizens should get marvellous opportunities and special privileges after they dedicate themselves to do things. Even though skill and knowledge are usually the main factors to complete aim. In some area, the majority still remain the common norm of men leadership.
Consequently
, women cannot grab some occupations from men even some of them may have more ability to do.
However
, equal communities give a fantastic chance to
people
in order to gain their accomplishment since there is no restriction for them to reach their success. They tend to access a similar education and public service.
Therefore
,
this
can increase the rate of success among the public. Many the
last
decades in Thailand,
for example
, it is hard for women to hit their goal because they had no chance to study. To compare with nowadays, all genders are equal to take a job.
Therefore
, they are likely to be more successful in their own way. In conclusion, equally can facilitate more achievement among individuals and may motivate
people
to pursue their goal. Ultimately, the number of personal accomplishment in the community will rise up.
In addition
,
people
's house more open-minded and remove the ancient thought.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: