Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many leaders in the world believe that improving a

country

economy

can improve the living standard of the state. Others believe that

people

will forget their traditional values. I agree with the statement that the benefits of economic growth will outweigh the drawbacks.

To begin

with, I admit that the growing

economy

has some downsides too.

People

will strive to earn more money. They will become more materialistic and money-oriented. They will forget their duties for families. They will do more work for a luxurious lifestyle.

Moreover

, children will

also

think that they can buy anything with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cash.

People

will have fewer emotions.

Moreover

, parents will do more work and they will negligent their kids and family, consequences will be really bad of becoming materialistic.

On the other hand

, the

economy

is the root of any

country

. A

country

that is

financially strong has more advantages over a poor

nation

. A healthy

economy

means better job opportunities, better income and a healthy lifestyle. A

country

with a healthy

economy

means better infrastructure

such

as schools, colleges, hospitals. The

country

with a better

economy

will have less crime, fewer diseases. All the problem can solve with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

finance. A

nation

with a good

economy

will become

Add an article

a more

show examples

Change the word

apply

show examples

happier

nation

. For example, Norway and Denmark have a good

economy

and it is recorded as the

most

Change the adjective

apply

show examples

happiest nations in the world. To conclude, In my opinion, Higher economical makes a strong

nation

and

people

of that

nation

will be

Change the word

apply

show examples

happier and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle. The community will get more employment and better study.

Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on Tue May 18 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.

You had borrowed money from your friend when you were facing some financial problems and forgot to pay it back. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter: ● apologize for being late in returning the money ● explain what happened ● say how you are going to fix the issue now

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The bestway to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that if an individual behaves in an anti-social manner, such as committing a crime, then society is to blame. What are the causes of anti-social behaviour? Who do you think is responsible?