Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage

#people #business #company #organization #outweigh

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According to

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some, adolescents are supposed to perform unpaid

community

Use synonyms

work during their leisure time as it is beneficial for both them and their communities. In my opinion, there are several benefits to

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

such

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a step and

hence

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I fully agree with it. I shall elaborate

further

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in my article below.

To begin

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with, I consider that cleaning public beaches and parks is a vital activity that

teenagers

Use synonyms

should engage in. In fact, it improves their sense of responsibility towards their

community

Use synonyms

specific

Correct word choice

particular

show examples

and towards the ecosystem in general.

This

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instils in them the feeling of being effective and beneficial to the world in general!

Not to mention

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, the benefit of having a clean environment for the

community

Use synonyms

. Another activity

teenagers

Use synonyms

should get involved in is rescuing stray animals.

This

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act not only helps animals find shelter, food, and maybe foster families, but

also

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it improves the emotional side of the

teenagers

Use synonyms

who are generally busy with the latest technology trends and rarely get involved in

such

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kind and humane activities.

For instance

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according to

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research done by the University of Wollongong in Australia in 2020, people who get involved in rescuing stray animals tend to be kinder and more caring than others who do not get involved in

such

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activities. In conclusion, I fully support the idea of involving

teenagers

Use synonyms

in unpaid

community

Use synonyms

work as the benefits they earn from doing

such

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work highly out way any financial

earning

Fix the agreement mistake

earnings

show examples

they can get from having a paid job.

Submitted by george.petro on Tue May 18 2021

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Task Response

Expand on the disadvantages of unpaid community work for a balanced view

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the organization and flow of ideas between paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage

Include an introduction and conclusion

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that advertising is a major factor in driving consumer demand. Others believe that consumers are becoming more immune to advertising. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both vioews and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion