IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.government should impose hig tax rate on fast foodAgree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #government #hig #tax #rate #foodagree
Nowadays,
people
 eating
junk
 meal is being a trend, while more and more
people
 getting health
issue
 by eating
this
. Some
people
 say that to deal with
this
issue
 the
government
 should increase a large amount of
tax
 on fast
food
. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
, because
this
 action might help to solve the
issue
 a little bit. To ,enhance the
tax
 on fast
food
 might decrease
people
 to choose the
junk
food
 for daily dried because apply the heavy
tax
thus
 leads the price of
junk
food
 increased.
As a result
,
people
 might be thinking about having other
food
 as an alternative ,
such
 cook at home. If
people
 could cook their meal at home it might help
people
 eats in a healthy way.
However
, I believe there are more effective ways to lead
people
 to decrease eating
junk
food
 and make them live in a healthy way.
First
 of all, education is one of the vital facts. Citizens choose to eat fast
food
 because some of them are the lake of education about the consequence of eating fast
food
,
such
 as they do not know how much fats in the
junk
food
 and it will cause them to become a chunkey person and
also
 it will have a long-term harmful effect to their body.
Moreover
, exercise plays a significant role in
people
's healthy,
Therefore
, the
government
 should encourage
people
 to eat less fast
food
 and do more exercise, I think
this
 is one of the best ways to lead
people
 to get back to a healthy lifestyle . In conclusion, I think the
government
 increasing the
tax
 on
junk
food
 might helps a bit. Whereas, if the
government
 could consider the education and stimulate
people
 to do more exercise it would be the best solution to solve
this
issue
 from the root.
Submitted by fankie.cecil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: