IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally known that
people
Use synonyms
 in different industries follow various dress codes,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals maintain that bosses should pay more attention to recruiters' working performances rather than their
dressing
Replace the word
dress
show examples
 requirements. From my perspective, it is necessary for certain sectors to have
a strict
Correct the article-noun agreement
strict dressing rules
a strict dressing rule
show examples
dressing
Replace the word
dress
show examples
 rules. On the one hand, even though the performance of a worker
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a significant role in their workplace, we can not ignore that one's appearance sometimes can make a huge difference. One major reason is that employees' images have a profound impact on the profile of a company.
For example
Linking Words
, for those who are working in
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 like a hotel manager
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
 a tidy suit can
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a good impression of being well-trained on customers,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which customers are more likely to come back and enjoy the good service of the hotel again.
In other words
Linking Words
, a uniformed staff can improve the
companies'
Change noun form
company's
show examples
images
Fix the agreement mistake
image
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 bring
a prospective profits
Correct the article-noun agreement
prospective profits
a prospective profit
show examples
 to
his
Change the word
the
show examples
 workplace.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, being well-dressed enables
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 to improve their working outcomes.
People
Use synonyms
 who work in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industries that need to interact constantly with clients should think highly of their outfits because the public usually considers that
people
Use synonyms
 who dress casually might be not reliable. With
this
Linking Words
 in mind, in order to show professional images, it is better for
a professionals
Correct the article-noun agreement
professionals
a professional
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as lawyers, doctors
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
businessmen and so on, to dress up well to convince other
people
Use synonyms
 that they are trusted. To summarize,
although
Linking Words
 there are some negative impacts on regulations of employees' outfits, I still believe that the benefits of wearing uniforms are far more, not only improving the
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
 of a business
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 generating more positive outcomes for the staff.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your essay, ensure each paragraph clearly contributes to your argument and that each main point is consistently supported with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining the structure of your paragraphs to ensure smoother transitions between ideas, which will enhance the flow of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy, as some minor errors may distract from your message. Proofreading can help catch these issues before submission.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint, and you provide relevant examples to support your argument, which is positive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dress code
  • Professional appearance
  • Corporate culture
  • Freedom of expression
  • Productivity
  • Discrimination
  • Inclusivity
  • Diversity
  • Industry standards
  • Safety regulations
  • Employee morale
  • Job satisfaction
  • Attire
  • Corporate identity
  • Gender identity
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Workplace norms
  • Employee well-being
  • Business etiquette
  • Professional conduct
What to do next:
Look at other essays: