IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, we can watch entertainment performances from screen and no need to watch it live. Do you agree or disagree?

#entertainment #performances #screen
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Firstly
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, seeing shows online can be convenient and less costly.
This
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 is because due to advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, there are various sources available to watch shows later
such
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 as a television, a computer, a laptop and a phone.
People
Use synonyms
 can sit at home and watch the show without paying a huge amount of money
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the tickets.
For example
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,
people
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 may travel to another city just to attend a concert;
as a result
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 of which they might end up spending a lot of money on travelling and on the entry ticket which they can save if they watch it later on television at home.
Therefore
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, youngsters can enjoy
show
Add an article
the show
a show
show examples
 with their family by saving
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of travelling and their energy.
Secondly
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, working professionals prefer watching shows online rather than present streaming.
This
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 is due to the fact that
people
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 are becoming busier compare to
past
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the past
show examples
 because of their frenetic work schedule;
as a result
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, they do not get time to get entertained.
This
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 can be resolved if the event is been recorded on the device and watched later as per
the
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a
show examples
 convenient time.
For instance
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, a working mother can record her favourite musical performance if she is not getting time from household work and watch it later on phone. In conclusion, performances can be watched later on various platforms
instead
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 of watching it live. I totally agree with
this
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 notion as it provides to working
people
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 and saves the cost of entry pass. In the future, there will be more platforms to broadcast
the
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apply
show examples
live shows that can benefit humans.
Submitted by Mamta on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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