IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
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Global Warming has become a global issue and a big threat for our
next
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 generations. One of the reasons is the massive
development
Use synonyms
 in the
cities
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 that lessens a green space in some areas.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 think that planting trees in
towns
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 or
cities
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 is far more needed than building more
houses
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. In my opinion,
although
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 we need to take action in preserving our Earth,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
house
Change the verb form
housing
show examples
development
Use synonyms
 can be
also
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 important especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crowded
cities
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. On the one hand, a green life movement has been taking
in
Change preposition
into
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 action by many
people
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 who concern with the major issue. Many big
cities
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 and
towns
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 have small green spaces which impacted good
air
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 production.
Thus
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, those who live in megapolitans have a small chance to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
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 unpolluted
air
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.
For example
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,
people
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 who live in Jakarta, which always be in
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 10 capital city with bad pollution only get
30
Correct article usage
a 30
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% of chance
in
Change preposition
apply
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breathing
health
Replace the word
healthy
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air
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.
Also
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
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air
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 can worsen our body health. So that,
people
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 in
towns
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 need some green spaces in order to retain their health.
On the other hand
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, the government cannot resist
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
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development
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 in the capitals. Most
of
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apply
show examples
big
Add an article
the big
show examples
towns
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 have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 population. If the governments reduce
house
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 building, many
people
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 will face difficulty in finding a private place.
Instead
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 of reducing a quota of residences, the government could organize a regulation of green buildings.
For example
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,
house
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 developers only build vertical
houses
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 with green building requirements. The vertical
houses
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 should be built with a good
vetilation
Correct your spelling
ventilation
 so the residents do not need to install more
air
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 conditioners. To sum up, the population is getting bigger and the green spaces are getting smaller.
However
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, we cannot resist the
further
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 changes in the
Use synonyms
house
Change the verb form
housing
show examples
development
Use synonyms
. As a solution, the
house
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 developers, which are regulated by the government can innovate the
houses
Use synonyms
 with green life approaches.
Submitted by hanizachri on

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