Violence in the media promotes violence in society. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays

media

Use synonyms

has

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

impact on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals’ life. It is often argued that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence spreads widely among

people

Use synonyms

Replace the word

buy

show examples

these types of content presented by

media

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. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. The more brutality shown by TV, the more crime rates would be in a society. Some

people

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tend to imitate the

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

shown on television. Many films produced based on various crimes

such

Linking Words

as child abuse, slaughter and burglary which contains lots of fierceness. Watching regularly these kinds of movies would

results

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result

show examples

in expanding bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

among

people

Use synonyms

especially young viewers. If the main character plays as a criminal, his devotees would be persuaded to behave like him.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most of the News broadcasted are full of harsh incidents all around the world. The stressful news causes anxiety in the society which surges aggressiveness in

people

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, by

expansion

Add an article

the expansion

an expansion

show examples

of different types of social

media

Use synonyms

like Instagram and Facebook many

people

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influenced by the content

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them.

For instance

Linking Words

, some individuals share

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

images full of harshness in order to attract others’ attention and find followers. In

this

Linking Words

regard, these Medias act like a teacher for them. Some terrorists

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

their methods and ways via

media

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which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

teenagers would be influenced.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the most famous group “DAESH” has been grown by spreading violent images and movies through different

Medias

Correct your spelling

Media

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, many youngsters joined them in

this

Linking Words

way. In conclusion, I agree with the view that violence in

media

Use synonyms

expand it in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society and broadcasting them should be limited by governments which could be effective in decreasing the crime rates in a country.

Elahe

May 20, 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Aggressive behavior
Imitation
Media regulation
Cultural context
Exposure
Social influence
Violent imagery
Psychological impact
Norms and values
Media consumption
Sensationalism

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