IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, the need to reconsider how public
libraries
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 spend their resources is an issue all over the world. Nowadays, it is believed by some that public
libraries
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 should invest their foundings into books rather
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then
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than
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 modern
technology
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. It is my opinion, public
libraries
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 should use their resources so as to invest
into
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in
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 modern
technology
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, which could
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
 their popularity and
income
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 ,
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furthermore
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,furthermore
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 they would give an opportunity for those who not able to afford it.
Firstly
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, If public
libraries
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 like to keep their traffic, they have to understand how
importatni
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important
 could be to invest in the latest
technology
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.
For
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example
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,example
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 new
softwere
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software
, videos, DVDs as important as
a
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the
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 newest books,
consequently
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 people needs are changed compared to the past and as a
resoult
Correct your spelling
result
libraries
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 could
continoue
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continue
 to
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serve
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serv
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serve
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 the public.
Secondly
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, since
libraries
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 keep visitor
intrest
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interest
 due investing the latest high-tech media which would allow them to invest more money to refresh their equipment , and as a
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result
resoult
Add a comma
,resoult
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 they could
incrase
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increase
 their
income
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.
Lastly
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,
Social
Correct article usage
the Social
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 gap would be smaller if public
libraries
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useing
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using
 some amount of their budget so as to invest
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technology
Change preposition
in technology
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.
For instance
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,
low
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low-income
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income
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familyes
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families
 could afford in order to visit the library and use the same
technology
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like
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as
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 higher social classes, which
automaticly
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automatically
 helps
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
 to
closing
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close
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 the social gap. In conclusion, if public
libraries
Use synonyms
 could invest their limited resource into high-tech media, it would
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
 their
income
Use synonyms
, popularity and it would help
lower
Add an article
the lower
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 class to use
a
Remove the article
apply
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newer
technology
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.
Therefore
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, it is in my
oppinion
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opinion
,
libraries
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 would not find a better investment for both themselves and
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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