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Band 4.5

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #books #waste #resources #media #software #videos #dvds
In recent times, the need to reconsider how public
libraries
 spend their resources is an issue all over the world. Nowadays, it is believed by some that public
libraries
 should invest their foundings into books rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 modern
technology
. It is my opinion, public
libraries
 should use their resources so as to invest
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 modern
technology
, which could
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
 their popularity and
income
 ,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 they would give an opportunity for those who not able to afford it.
Firstly
, If public
libraries
 like to keep their traffic, they have to understand how
importatni
Correct your spelling
important
 could be to invest in the latest
technology
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 new
softwere
Correct your spelling
software
, videos, DVDs as important as
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 newest books,
consequently
 people needs are changed compared to the past and as a
resoult
Correct your spelling
result
libraries
 could
continoue
Correct your spelling
continue
 to
Correct your spelling
serve
show examples
serv
Correct your spelling
serve
show examples
 the public.
Secondly
, since
libraries
 keep visitor
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 due investing the latest high-tech media which would allow them to invest more money to refresh their equipment , and as a
Correct your spelling
result
resoult
Add a comma
,resoult
show examples
 they could
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
 their
income
.
Lastly
,
Social
Correct article usage
the Social
show examples
 gap would be smaller if public
libraries
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 some amount of their budget so as to invest
technology
Change preposition
in technology
show examples
.
For instance
,
low
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low-income
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income
familyes
Correct your spelling
families
 could afford in order to visit the library and use the same
technology
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 higher social classes, which
automaticly
Correct your spelling
automatically
 helps
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
 to
closing
Change the verb form
close
show examples
 the social gap. In conclusion, if public
libraries
 could invest their limited resource into high-tech media, it would
incrase
Correct your spelling
increase
 their
income
, popularity and it would help
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 class to use
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
newer
technology
.
Therefore
, it is in my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
libraries
 would not find a better investment for both themselves and
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by davidwillphone on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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